This Is Almost Certainly James Comey’s Twitter Account

Digital security and its discontents — from Hillary Clinton’s emails to ransomware to Tor hacks—is in many ways one of the chief concerns of the contemporary FBI. So it makes sense that the bureau’s director, James Comey, would dip his toe into the digital torrent with a Twitter account. It also makes sense, given Comey’s high profile, that he would want that Twitter account to be a secret from the world, lest his follows and favs be scrubbed for clues about what the feds are up to. What is somewhat surprising, however, is that it only took me about four hours of sleuthing to find Comey’s account, which is not protected. Read More >>

The Bizarre World of Unsolicited Mark Zuckerberg Fan Art

Mark Zuckerberg, who made a fortune turning his own social anxieties into a website, is an odd person to fawn over. He’s not a great public speaker. His motivations are questionable. And he copied his fashion sensibilities from a likely sociopath. And yet! Some members of Facebook are enamoured with him. So much so that they’ve taken to blanketing his Timeline with their own, lovingly crafted fan art — each Zuckin' creepier than the last. Read More >>

Stock Reaction Gifs Are for Idiots

Last week, Google released a new, gif-friendly keyboard (still unavailable in the UK) that lets you choose from a selection of Fun animations. Perhaps you’re feeling particularly Mr. Bean-frowning-against-a-blue-background. Or maybe you’re in more of a you-go-glenn-coco-scene-from-Mean-Girls mood. That’s fine. But when it comes time to express those feelings, please, for the love of god, use your words. Because these basic, unoriginal thoughts are not what gifs are for. Read More >>

The Illuminati’s Secret Celebrity Murder and Cloning Centres, Explained

Have you ever noticed that, sometimes, a certain celebrity seems ever so slightly off? Maybe its an errant beauty mark or the fact that their eyelids have begun to blink sideways. You can feel in your heart that something’s just not right. That’s because your darling idol is dead. Read More >>

These Crap Memes are More Embarrassing Than Anything Nest Has Done

Recode has obtained some exclusive memes that offered insight into how Google’s employees really feel about Nest’s many, many problems. But while these disgruntled tech workers are busy lamenting the damage Nest has done to the Google name, they’re hurting themselves — and everyone they’ve ever loved — far more severely. With their embarrassing, shit memes. Read More >>

The Pope’s Twitter Mentions are a Living Hell

The internet is, generally speaking, a rubbish dump suffused with vitriol and poison. “But surely,” some might ask, “the one, tiny corner of Twitter devoted to Cool Pope Francis would be a respite for our bitter, blackened hearts?” To which the answer is: of course not, no. Read More >>

Where is My Upside-Down Emoji?

As far as third-party keyboards for iOS go, Swype is fantastic. It’s fast, it’s stable, and it knows all my little typing quirks. I’d never use anything else. And yet — I hate it. Read More >>

This Walled-Off Garfield Facebook Group is the Last Irony-Free Place on the Internet

The people you meet on the internet are, for better or worse (just kidding it’s always for worse), probably not what they seem. Years of bile and racism and flamewars and the MTV show Catfish have seared this fact into our brains. Yet somehow, while the rest of our hearts hardened into stone, one quiet corner of Facebook stayed impossibly pure. And that corner of Facebook fucking loves Garfield. Read More >>

Photoshop Challenge: Is There Anything Worse Than an iPad Selfie Stick?

Earlier today, we heard of a device that might be the very pinnacle of human garbage: the iPad Selfie Stick. But as we all know, things can always get worse. And that, dear readers, is where you come in. Read More >>

Trying to Arouse My New Sextbot Buddy (NSFW)

Today, I tried to arouse a sextbot. Turns out robots are assholes. Read More >>

Mars One is Broke, Disorganised, and Dodgy as Hell

Remember Mars One? The mega-hyped, one way ticket to go start a colony on Mars assuming it could get a ship and funding and capable colonists and training facilities and the major technological advances necessary to make it all happen? Surprise! According to one finalist, the whole thing is pretty much a scam. Read More >>

Sign Up for the iOS 8.3 Beta to Get Your Brand New, Jaundiced Emojis

We've known that a new set of diverse/sickly cartoon friends has been on its way for a while now. But thanks to the new iOS 8.3 beta download, that day is finally here. You can officially send your friend a tiny, jaundiced, disembodied head. Read More >>