Government Raises Spectre of Compulsory Bike Helmet Laws

Comments made by transport minister Jesse Norman have been taken to mean that the government's considering implementing laws that would make helmets compulsory for cyclists, with a review of cycling safety potentially handling the radioactive potato in the future. Read More >>

Sodding Millennials Won’t Even Get a Round in

When a young person finally stops looking at their phone long enough to head to the bar and get a drink, chances are they'll only come back with one for themselves. The art of getting a round in is dying. Maybe someone needs to build a bloody drink-cost-sharing app so they understand the concept? Read More >>

black friday
FatFace Pulls Grumpy Face at Black Friday

FatFace, maker of clothes people we don't associate with buy, will not be joining in with Black Friday. It's boss is extremely down on the idea, and thinks all it does is shift customer spend from December into November. Read More >>

Croydon’s Getting a Skyscraper All of its Own

This weird tower here will soon be poking up into the clouds of Croydon, with the design of the One Lansdowne Road site now signed off by the mayor and the planners. Read More >>

Nuclear Fallout Declared Only as Bad For You as London’s Air Pollution

A team of researchers looking into the niche world of what happens after a nuclear accident have some good news. They say we shouldn't all be evacuated, as evacuation leads to stress and stress is bad in itself. Also, we'd only be likely to lose a few months off our lives as a result of the exposure to radioactive matter, which is about the same end result as choosing to live in a polluted metropolis for your productive youthful years. Read More >>

Looking for Treasure is the UK’s Newest Career Path

The people of England have given up hope of getting on in life via the usual methods like careers, pensions, and being good at things, and are instead turning to the fantastic world of treasure hunting to make a living. Read More >>

Black Friday
Black Friday, Obesity, Grey Squirrels and the Other Worst US Imports

Check the internet tomorrow and you'll likely be flooded with suggestions that you buy things you don't need, as this previously vacant day of our calendar has been hijacked by internet retailers — thanks to the importation of the American phenomenon known as Black Friday. Read More >>

Ikea Has a Nice Frame for Your New da Vinci

The poor art collector who spent masses of money on a weird and blurry painting of Jesus is the target of a sneaky ad campaign by Ikea, which is using the $450m sale of Salvator Mundi to hopefully shift a few cheap picture frames. Read More >>

People are Most Trusting of News on the Radio, Says Radio Survey of Radio People

A survey of people who like listening to the radio has found out that they trust the radio more than other forms of news outlet, as an unseen person reading out things somehow adds an extra aura of authority to what's being said. Social media, of course, came bottom, because people like us can say anything, add the relevant hashtag then... get read out on the news, creating a modern truthfulness paradox. Read More >>

Samsung Hopes to Mesmerise Viewers With Three-Minute Washing Machine Close up

The poor old Samsung staff who only ever get to work on boring old washing machines are about to get their turn in the limelight, as in a staggering televisual first one entire advert break is about to be taken over by nothing more than a single shot of a washing machine spinning a load. Read More >>

Former Oxford Student Sues Because They Didn’t Teach Him Right

A 39-year-old former student of Oxford University is taking the educational establishment to court, claiming that a less than stellar degree result earned back in the year 2000 cost him a lucrative career in law -- so he'd like £1m in compensation, please. Read More >>

Canadian Company Accused of 6,000 Per Cent NHS Drug Price Increase

A drug company has been accused of ripping off the NHS to a massive extent by whacking up the price of a not particularly glamorous thyroid treatment, by increasing the pack cost from £4.46 to £258.19 over the course of a decade. Read More >>

eBay Scalpers Cash in on Cheese Advent Calendar Crisis

It's not just Nintendo hardware that's making eBayers money at the moment — they're also winning big by reselling a strangely popular cheese selection advent calendar. Read More >>

Hackers are Stealing our Air Miles Now

Analysis of internet content on the "dark" parts of the internet appears to show that there's been a spike in theft of air miles, with hackers nicking points from accounts then selling them on so that everyone can make a bit of money from our forgotten stash of loyalty points. Read More >>

Two Storey Subterranean Cold War Super Basement For Sale

A fantastic underground survivalist retreat is up for sale, should you think it prudent to see out the end of 2017 in a nuclear bomb-proof facility in Scotland. Read More >>