Queen Elizabeth Prepares for War at Sea

Today's a momentous occasion in the history of British naval superiority, as we shall see the first of the nation's new aircraft carriers leave the dock for the first time. Read More >>

Cambridge Plant Nerds Prepare for Death Flower

Botanists and people with even just a casual interest in gardening are focusing on Cambridge University's greenhouse this week, as one of plants prepares to launch its stinky flowers out into the world for the first time since 2004. Read More >>

London Tests £2.45 Diesel-Parking Surcharge

Parts of the centre of London are full of new virtual/financial barriers to some car owners from today, as Westminster Council activates a separate and additional congestion charge element for people wanting to take diesel cars into some streets. Read More >>

Supermarkets Test Surge-Pricing Crisps at Lunchtime via Electronic Price Tags

Some of the UK's biggest supermarkets are considering introducing fluctuating prices throughout the day, as the grocers look to the likes of Uber for ways they can manage demand at peak times and adjust prices accordingly. Read More >>

Union Threatens to Put Hospital Porters in Dresses Over Trouser Length Dispute

Another war over short trousers has broken out in heatwave-ravaged and angry Britain, with this latest bit of smart/casual fury centring around hospital porter Michael Wood and the case of the rolled-up work trousers. Read More >>

Queen Reported for Not Wearing a Seatbelt

Some random member of the public has tried to grass up the Queen, after noticing that she didn't appear to be wearing a seatbelt during the slow public commute between palaces to deliver her annual speech to the House of Lords, as part of the State Opening of Parliament. Read More >>

MPs Passwords Put up for Sale by Hackers

A stash of email addresses and passwords offered for sale by a Russian hacking crew appears to contain quite a few juicy ones belonging to our power mongers, with the details of some MPs and cabinet ministers popping up in the haul. Read More >>

RAF Drone Pilots Reveal the Horror of Killing by Remote Control

An extraordinary insight into the day job of the RAF's Reaper remote attack drone pilots has been assembled, with the team based at RAF Waddington revealing how they go about monitoring their targets for weeks before eventually pulling the trigger. Read More >>

IT Glitch of the Day: Train Ticket Machines Offline Across the Country

Today's calamitous IT failure has been revealed: the trains. Specifically, people trying to buy train tickets this morning noticed that automated machines at stations to travel on many rail franchises were broken, with server issues meaning the systems couldn't process payments, therefore making the buying of tickets impossible. Read More >>

Fake Food Poisoning Claims Could Get Brits Banned From All-in Holiday Deals

Suspiciously high numbers of claims of food poisoning when troughing out at the hotel buffet have been coming in, with only the British travellers complaining of becoming ill at some all-inclusive holiday destinations -- causing hotel operators to accuse us of becoming a nation of compensation-chasing liars. Read More >>

Jaguar to Test Self-Driving Cars on UK Roads This Year

The Autodrive group, which consists of carmakers Ford, Jaguar Land Rover, Tata Motors and lots of smaller tech companies and insurers, has been given the go-ahead to test self-driving cars on public roads in the UK this year. Read More >>

Hacker Jailed for Stealing £100k to Pay for a BMW and Face Tattoos

A UK-based hacker has been found guilty of stealing nearly £100,000 from accounts held by Clydesdale and Yorkshire Banking Group, money he used to buy a BMW and a Range Rover, before underlining his stupidity by getting a tattoo on his face. Read More >>

Simon Cowell’s Grenfell Tower Charity Hits the Streams Today

Simon and Garfunkel's musical milestone Bridge Over Troubled Water has been chosen by Simon Cowell and his consortium of celebrities as the charity record to benefit the families hit by the Grenfell Tower tragedy, with Robbie Williams, Louis Tomlinson, Brian May, Rita Ora and Stormzy among the top-tier talent to have contributed their verses to the ensemble recording. Read More >>

PAYD Could Replace London’s Congestion Charge

London's mayor has revealed a new transport policy initiative that wants to make car drivers feel even less welcome in the centre of town -- potentially paying by the mile. Read More >>

London’s Air Declared Deadly Toxic Today

Our miniature little heatwave is wreaking havoc with the air quality of our cities, with London's mayor declaring today a stinked-up crisis best avoided. Read More >>