Idiots Fall for “Rare 50p” Hype

Some poor old grandad buying what he was told to has spent £300 on a coin that's worth £10 at best, and that latter price is for one bought direct from the Mint in a nice cardboard case, untouched by human hands. Read More >>

15 Christmas Features We WON’T Be Writing This Year

You've probably guessed this already being the savvy online sort who reads more than the headlines, but what happens on a lot of internet sites is that some features at this time of year are written in advance, then scheduled to automatically post around Christmas time so the staff can have a rest. Because this is really hard, you know? I've only had nine tea breaks in the last two hours. Read More >>

Amazon’s Deliveroo Investment Could be Blocked by the UK Competition Police

The Competition and Markets Authority has sent a big long list of difficult questions to Amazon for it to get someone important to answer, as it prepares to perhaps launch an official investigation into the shopping king's investment in food delivery newcomer Deliveroo. Read More >>

Old Scottish Power Station Caught Leaking Specs of Nuclear Dust

A nice little British nuclear catastrophe has been uncovered in Scotland, where the complex and millennia-long process of decommissioning the Dounreay facility is in trouble for stirring up an extremely small quantity of radioactive dust. A teaspoon of sand and a sprinkling of boron sorted it all out no problem. Read More >>

Amateur Impressionist’s Favourite David Bellamy Dies Aged 86

David Bellamy, a man who banged on about environmental issues on TV several decades before it was fashionable to do so, has passed away aged 86. Read More >>

Suffolk Goes Full Plague With Restriction Zones and Mass Chicken Cull

This winter looks like it's going to be another shocker for the UK's poultry farmers, as an outbreak of the H5 strain of the virus commonly bracketed in the bird flu category has been discovered. Read More >>

Uber Promises Free Accessible Rides to Polling Stations so Be Nice About it Today

Uber is planning to set fire to a little more shareholder money than usual on Thursday, as it's offering free rides to polling stations for users via its Assist and Access accessible vehicle ride offshoots.  It is a bit late to fully rehabilitate your reputation, Uncle Uberneezer, but well done for giving it a shot. Read More >>

UK Pub Numbers Grow and it’s Not All Because of Wetherspoons

Someone within the Office of National Statistics has the rather soft job of counting up all the UK's pubs -- no doubt stopping off for a shandy on work time as each one is ticked off the list -- and has reached the shocking conclusion that the number of pubs operating in the country has risen for the first time in a decade. Read More >>

Experts Say Food Labels Should Come With Energy-Burning Calculations

That traffic light nonsense on the crisps should be replaced with a better system that's both scarier and easier to comprehend, with health experts finding that a more human explanation of how much exercise you have to do to burn off a food's calorie content works to reduce a person's chomping of the nice things. Read More >>

Prime Minister Suggests Possibly Axing the BBC’s Licence Fee

That man who's living the dream of being the UK's prime minister at the moment has suggested that a future government may end the licence fee model used to pay for the BBC, with Boris Johnson pondering on if it "makes sense" for the BBC to continue to enjoy its unique funding arrangement. Read More >>

Buyer of £3m London Flat Sues for Lack of Broadband

A man fortunate enough to find himself with £3m to spend on a London flat would like an additional £97,300 from the developer of the building he lives in, as compensation for discovering that his posh new home did not come with any form of broadband connection. Read More >>

Indie Brewer Promises a Free Pint for Every Voter This Thursday

We're about to find out how legally binding Facebook posts are, thanks to beer maker BrewDog promising to provide a free, good old metric volume of pint of beer to anyone who goes through the minor hassle of proving they voted on Thursday. Even your dad's shaky cross next to the wacky-blazered Ukip man's name is eligible for the freebie. Read More >>

Avanti Plans “Premium Economy” Seats on Refurbed West Coast Trains

Avanti is planning to introduce a third pricing tier to its train tickets and travel options next year, as it believes its refurbished Pendolinos will be so posh that there's room to squeeze in an extra layer of slightly more expensive seats between standard and first. Just don't go calling the newly demoted cheapest tickets "third class" or you'll get done for hate crimes. Read More >>

Iceland Launches Eat to Death Challenge for £15

To be fair to Iceland, you probably wouldn't die if you consumed its entire £15 Party Food Bundle straight from the oven by yourself on Christmas Eve, but you may perhaps need to block off the calendar until December 27 or so and get a few extra toilet rolls in. Read More >>

Avanti West Coast Begins Painting Over Virgin Trains

There's a new rail franchise dealing with our complaints about the Wi-Fi not working and the toilets oozing piss and bleach out into the corridors today, with Avanti West Coast taking over the business of running what was once the Virgin Trains line between London and Scotland. Read More >>