Tech Regulator Introduces New Code for Child Accounts

The Information Commissioner's Office has launched a new online code today, designed to force the usual tracking, advertising and monitoring giants to be a bit more respectful when there's probably a child behind the clicks and taps. Read More >>

Heathrow Starts Segregating Chinese Arrivals as Coronavirus Threat Ramps Up

We're about to start seeing coronavirus menace stories in the UK press, as Heathrow Airport is preparing to make arrivals from the affected area of China stand in a whole separate room by themselves, juuuust in case. Read More >>

The Children Suffer as Toy Sales Fell in 2019

Sales of flimsy red and yellow plastic junk categorised as "toys" fell over 2019, with the overall value of the child entertainment sector dropping by six per cent year-on-year to a value of £3.2bn. Read More >>

Toilet in Shower Drives Council Inspectors to Declare War on Landlords

Oxford City Council has released a batch of photos of some of the worst housing conditions its inspectors have found in the city's rented stock, and the crimes are so great it's now pushing for all rental homes to be added to a register for better monitoring. Read More >>

Freed Terrorists to Undergo Comedy of Lie Detector Tests

The UK's counter-terrorism forces are about to outsource some of their investigations to the untrusted world of the lie detector, with a forthcoming rethink of the way those suspected of terrorism are treated said to include the use of polygraph machines. Read More >>

Johnny Marr Joins Emergency No Time to Die Soundtrack Process

Hans Zimmer does not have vey much time to create a score for the next Bond movie, seeing as the film's out in April and he only got the call to do the score for it a couple of weeks ago, when Dan Romer's music work on No Time to Die went in the bin due to behind-the-scenes troubles with Eon Productions. Read More >>

HMRC Offers £100,000 Crypto-Tracing Bounty/Contract

Our boring old tax inspectors are looking to do a better job of tracking transactions made in modern crypto currencies, with a new job posting offering a £100,000 contract to anyone who can fulfill the role of crypto-asset blockchain analysis provider. Read More >>

New HS2 Report Leak Says “Pause” the Northern Bits

There's been another leak of the results of the review into HS2 and whether or not it's still or ever was a good idea and worth doing etc, this time revealing a rather lukewarm appraisal that raises the official final cost to as much as £106bn – and suggests the Phase 2b section is "paused" while benefits are reassessed. Read More >>

Greenpeace Graded at Max Threat Level by the UK’s Counter-Terror Police

Greenpeace activists have been ranked alongside neo-Nazis in the UK's latest counter-terrorism bulletin, with a document distributed to schools and hospitals adding the eco-campaign group – and land-based animal welfare protesters Peta – to a list of potentially radicalising institutions that need watching out for. Read More >>

Hull Asks to Pioneer Universal Basic Income Scheme

The residents of Hull could soon be the first people in the UK to trial a form of universal basic income; the hot new trend in benefits that gives money to everyone regardless of age, wealth or employment status. Off to Greggs on payday it is, then. Read More >>

10 Infinitely More Depressing Days Than Blue Monday

This is nothing like the worst day of the year. This is the tailwind assisted, mostly downhill run to summer, warmer times, and the better days, if only because you don't have to turn your jumper arms the right way round every morning. Read More >>

Fried Greasy Meat is Now an Old Man’s Breakfast

Here's yet more bad news for sad men who have inadvertently landed on this site while trying to find the Daily Star's crowdfunder for the ringing of Big Ben, as news has broken that the traditional 'Full English' breakfast medley of assorted fried low-grade meats is on the way out with the youngsters. And you don't want to know what type of milk they're putting in their tea now. How do you even get milk out of one of those? Read More >>

Government Puts £3.4m into Wireless Electric Taxi Charging Scheme

Nottingham City Council, the government's Future of Transport department and a basket of companies all with an oar in the future of electric mobility are preparing a wireless charging scheme in Nottingham, where a small fleet of taxis will be kitted out with wireless charge units for six months to see if it makes EVs more palatable to pro drivers. Read More >>

London Tests Alleged AI for Counting Cyclists

Transport for London is seriously glorifying its latest batch of sensors, claiming that the installation of 43 Vivacity traffic monitors somehow makes London a smart city in which AI dominates the decision-making process. Read More >>

Asda Tests Sustainability Store With Self-Filling Vending Foods Galore

Asda is preparing to see all manner of dried foods trod into the floor of its branch in Leeds, as a trial of big brand vending machines and endless refillable tubs is coming to see if we really can hack a future where everything doesn't come in plastic wrapping, inside a cardboard box, with wrapping around that too. Read More >>