Costcutter Trials Vein-Reading Biometric Payment System

You might soon be able to pay by scanning some sort of veiny part of your body in at the supermarket till, with a trial backed by supermarket chain Costcutter using a bizarre gadget known as Fingopay to scan the veins of a... finger. Other body parts TBA. Read More >>

Buddhists Fined for Freeing Lobsters in Brighton

A group of well-meaning buddhists have been fined a total of £28,000 for misguidedly trying to do something nice, after they bought up a pile of live lobsters destined for the catering industry and set them free in the sea off the coast of Brighton. Read More >>

Uber Has Been Banned From London

Transport for London has just taken the extraordinary step of banning Uber from London, announcing that the minicab company will not have its licence to operate renewed. The exact wording includes the bombshell that: "Uber London is not fit and proper to hold a private hire operator licence." Blimey. Read More >>

Remote Mountain Hideaway Hosts James Bond Creativity Fun Park

007 ELEMENTS is the name of a new artistic James Bond experience, one that requires visitors to first get to a Bond villain-style hideout built on the summit of the Gaislachkogl Mountain. Read More >>

Amazon Delivers Parcel to Entirely Safe Black Wheelie Bin

The idea of putting a delivery straight into a wheelie bin for safe keeping is mad, obviously, but there's a caveat. This happened in Birmingham, where the binmen have been on strike for ages, so perhaps it's not quite as mad as it initially seems. Read More >>

Churchy Types Shocked by Cathedral’s Role in Hellboy

The serene towers of Wells Cathedral have been disrupted by filming of late, with parishioners wondering what romantic costume drama perhaps starring Anna Friel, or sedate bakery programme presented by a nice old lady, is being filmed there. The truth, though, is horrifying. They've been shooting Hellboy. In a cathedral. Nazi demons. In a cathedral. Read More >>

Google Throws £1m in Vague Direction of Anti-Terrorism Efforts

The media has been battering Google over the apparent free availability of bomb-making tutorials on its video-sharing site, so it's time to do something about it. It's time to get the virtual wallet out to make the bad news go away. Read More >>

Government Wants Tech Giants to Auto-Delete Terror Content

Theresa May has said something not to do with Brexit for once, with the PM using a speech at the United Nations to ask today's tech giants and social media kingpins to do more to automatically filter out terrorist material. Read More >>

Yoko Ono Turns on John Lemon

Artist and brand custodian Yoko Ono has successfully taken action against a lemonade company, which was selling a version of the timeless fizzy drink under the name John Lemon. It's a clever name, but a bit too close in sounds and visual likeness to a certain Liverpudlian songwriter. Read More >>

Fake Whales Stranded on Lincolnshire Beach

There's a charity in the UK called British Divers Marine Life Rescue, and one of the things it does is train people with an interest in how to save the lives of big things that wash up on beaches. The living things, not the shipping containers full of motorbikes. Read More >>

Craig David Declared the UK’s Unofficial Figurehead for Malware

Boring old computer security company McAfee has managed to associate itself with some celebrities today, revealing the famous names who are used to lure unsuspecting streamers and downloaders to malware-ridden sites. Read More >>

Roads Department Gamifies Throwing Rubbish Out of the Car

Lazy people who throw rubbish out of car windows are in for a treat should they drive around certain spots in the north of England, as the roads department is testing a thrilling new type of bin. It's like a big old ship's funnel, into which drivers-by are encouraged to casually throw their rubbish. Read More >>

Aldi’s Wine Advent Calendar Will Have You Fat and Lazy Before Christmas Even Starts

Forget the Lego one this year, as adults who like the idea of having a small glass of wine for breakfast have an amazing new advent calendar option -- one that comes with a glass of wine every day. Read More >>

Kellogg’s Puts a Unicorn on Breakfast

Kellogg's has come up with a new way of selling processed sugary cereals to children and adults of a childlike disposition, with a pictures of a unicorn now stuck on the cover of a limited edition run of the company's "Fruit" Loops cereal. Read More >>

Local Elections Test ID-to-Vote System

The government is acting on the problem of voter fraud — even though it doesn't seem to ever really happen or be much of a problem — by testing a system that requires voters to produce a form of ID before being handed their ballot papers. Read More >>