war
Two Storey Subterranean Cold War Super Basement For Sale

A fantastic underground survivalist retreat is up for sale, should you think it prudent to see out the end of 2017 in a nuclear bomb-proof facility in Scotland. Read More >>

shopping
Forget Black Friday, Buy Your Stuff in June or December

Oh, you'll never guess what's just been found out. They've found out that "Black Friday" is an artificially created scam of a day upon which products sell for the same as — or more than — they have at points during the previous year. Strike us down with a dodgy unofficial imported charger. Read More >>

art
Ketchup Christ Adds to Greggs’ Sausage Roll Blasphemy Hell

Artist Nathan Wyburn has weighed in on the bizarre meat baby Jesus story, inspired as he was to pick up a sausage roll and use a portion -- or several portions -- of ketchup to create a figural devotional representation of the face of the adult redeemer. Read More >>

transport
BA to Make Cheap Ticket Buyers Board Flights Last

British Airways fancies bringing the old class system back to travel, as it's revealed a plan to somehow hold back the buyers of cheap tickets to make them board flights last. Read More >>

money
London Unis Make Millions From Late Library Books

London's selection of universities are sitting on a secret money making scheme, with data showing that they've taken in more than £3m from their students via this clever little hack. The scam? Charging late fees for students returning books. That's somehow netted the establishments millions. Read More >>

transport
London Transport Exec Avoids Early Meetings Because the Trains Are Awful

A cheeky Freedom of Information request filed with London's mayoral offices has thrown up a glorious email about the travel arrangements of the city's deputy mayor for transport. Read More >>

cars
Jaguars Are Self-Driving a Few Hundred Yards of Coventry’s Roads

Jaguar Land Rover claims to have achieved the nationwide first of running fully autonomous cars on public UK roads, with one of the cars it's co-developing as part of self-driving consortium UK Autodrive managing to mingle with everyday traffic, adhere to the rules and not trigger anything bad. Read More >>

internet
Berners-Lee Says His Beloved Web is Being Ruined by Money-Grabbing AIs

Tim Berners-Lee, who either invented the whole internet or just the WWW interface bit, depending on how seriously you take your tech history and your level of awareness of communications protocols, isn't particularly happy with the way it's all been turning out of late. Read More >>

dyson
Dyson Sues Former Exec for Allegedly Leaking Secrets

Charles Dyson is about to sue his former right-hand man, accusing the company's recently departed chief executive of leaking confidential product information to... we don't know who. Someone in China that also makes hand dryers, probably. Read More >>

education
Teachers Cheat by Whispering Answers to Lift Pupil Results

The stress of getting decent exam results doesn't only encourage students to cheat — their teachers are doing it too. Read More >>

food
Greggs Apologises for Sausage Roll Christ Child

That seemingly innocent image of holy people gathering around to bless a sausage roll really kicked off big time for Greggs, but not in a good way. People who believe in the Jesus things were right pissed off about replacing the famous stable-born baby with a sausage roll in order to sell a calendar and some coffees, so much so that Greggs has been forced to do a serious-face, puffed-out-bottom-lip apology. Read More >>

health
Coke Lorry Targets the Poor and Ought to be Banned by Councils, Says the Government

Coke's fun-loving habit of hijacking Christmas by driving a lorry about the country to establish lifelong brand loyalty in a new generation has come under fire, with Public Health England suggesting the company's festive truck of sugary liquid routinely heads for the poorest parts of the land in order to ensnare kids into a life of additional sugar consumption. Read More >>

health
Commuters Asked to Intervene in Potential Suicides

A new campaign that will strike fear into the hearts of the antisocial has been launched today, under the banner of Small Talk Saves Lives. Which is ironic, as suicide often feels preferable to having to do small talk. Read More >>

energy
Dounreay’s Dome to go as Part of 3,000 Year Nuclear Detox Plan

The historic nuclear site of Dounreay on Scotland's remote northern shores is set for dismantling, with the latest planning application for the site asking for permission to remove the familiar, menacing, awe-inspiring round reactor dome. Read More >>

ads
No One Told Paddington Bear to F*ck Off

Some people, perhaps even seriously, thought that M&S sneaked some swearing into its celebrity-packed 2017 Christmas advert, with the ad perhaps appearing to suggest the line "F*ck you, little bear" was said to Paddington at the end. Read More >>