health
Children Vote to Ban Wearing of Red Noses

Children at a school in Bedfordshire are worried about NTDs (nose-transmitted diseases) to such an extent that they have voted to cancel the wearing of the comic nasal prosthetics during the school's charitable festivities today. Read More >>

robots
Men are More likely to Lose Their Jobs to Robots

Some people, probably men, have been thinking about how robots and AI and the general trend of automation will affect the UK job market, finding that as many as 10 million jobs might go off to robotic methods within 15 years. So those shiny metal arseholes had better start paying their taxes. Read More >>

ISPs
An Automated Crap ISP Compensation System is on the Drawing Board

Communications regulator Ofcom is looking into the mechanics of an automated refund system that would gives users money back when they suffer crappy service from their ISP, with compensation to be offered when appointments are missed or repairs overshoot deadlines. Read More >>

environment
Britvic Has a Wooden Drinks Bottle in Development

Drinks manufacturer and bottler to the stars of the fizzy pop world Britvic has an idea that could save the world from gradual plasticisation and the death of the sea -- a wooden drinks bottle. You could just throw it on the floor when you're done having your 20 teaspoons of sugar. Read More >>

transport
Easyjet Collaborates on Electric Passenger Jet

A company promising the eco dream of electric flight says it might have a model ready, oh, within about ten years or so, with budget flier Easyjet helping steer the development on the commercial side of things. Read More >>

money
The Ancient Cheque Will Soon Clear in One Day

The cheque -- a bit of paper upon which you write a promise to have your bank send someone money and, somehow, it happens after about a week -- is about to be updated for the modern need-everything-now generation, with the funds soon to start clearing and appearing in the recipient's bank account within one day. Read More >>

health
Scientists Find Fun Thing That is Good

Scientists have found a thing that does us good by consuming it and the news that will shock you? It's only bloody old beer. They say, in a salted nutshell, that one pint a day reduces the risk of developing several serious heart conditions. Read More >>

cars
Driver Accidentally Gassed Himself and a Passenger With DIY Car Mods

A driver from Chelmsford accidentally killed himself and a passenger in his Ford Fiesta, after DIY modifications led to a massive increase in the amount of engine fumes entering the compartment. Read More >>

crime
Manchester Police Seek Escaped Prisoner in “Hipster” Disguise

Greater Manchester Police is hunting for escaped criminal Neil Brennan, and is warning that he may have taken on the likeness of a gentle hipster to disguise his scoundrel roots. Read More >>

film
Mariah Carey’s Christmas Classic is Being Turned into a Film

Hollywood has found a new source of material to make terrible films out of -- songs. In particular, someone has approved the bonkers idea that is turning Mariah Carey's only-good-thing-about-Christmas song All I Want For Christmas Is You into a computer animated blockbuster. Read More >>

travel
UK Joins US in Banning Laptops and Tablets on Some Flights

Anything bigger than a phablet will have to go in the hold luggage on some flights into the UK, with the government joining the US in requiring passengers from six countries to stow tablets, ereaders and laptops in the hold, lest their batteries actually be bombs. Read More >>

internet
Internet Lessons Should be the Fourth ‘R’ for School Kids

The children should be taught "The Internet" in school according to a report from the House of Lords, as help navigating today's tangled web of lies, racism, fakes, pornography, abuse and YouTube celebrities that incite murder might help them turn out balanced and nice and able to hold down a job. Read More >>

advertising
Google Hires Humans to Fix Horror Ads Mess

It's day 23 or thereabouts of Google UK's extremist ad horror, and the search behemoth has now decided it's time to be sorry about it and say things will change. Read More >>

Nissan Leaf
cars
Energy Companies Are Already Planning to Limit Electric Car Charging

The futuristic electric car utopia is under threat before it's even arrived, as one UK electricity supplier warns that charging points may have to be time-delayed to avoid the commuters of the country smashing the grid to pieces when they all plug their e-cars in to charge at 6:25pm every evening. Read More >>

VR
VR Could Spot Signs of Concussion in Footballers

The emerging worry that is brain injury possibly being caused by heading footballs is the latest target of developers in VR land, with a team of researchers suggesting that VR's sensors and tricking of the brain might be able to detect the early signs of concussion and could therefore save young brains from needless battering. Read More >>