energy
Nation’s Lights Kept on for 55 Hours Without Burning Coal

All those turbines you see along the motorways seem to be doing the job, as the UK set a new record for powering itself without the need to fall back on burning coal for electricity generation. Read More >>

music
‘Shut up, Morrissey’ Bags Re-Enter Production

A third run of bags that say what the nation is thinking has entered production, as it seems a huge number of people would like a shopping bag that says "'Shut up, Morrissey" on it, in case they meet the popstar browsing the alternative vegan milks section of their local Waitrose. Read More >>

animals
Famous Dodo Was Murdered

The best example of a dodo left on the planet is still dead – scientists aren't that good yet – but they do at least now think they know how it died. Which will bring some closure to the case. Read More >>

food
Sainsbury’s Tests Delivery by Mini Fleet of Electric Bikes

Supermarket chain Sainsbury's has invented a new category of home delivery – the home delivery by electric cargo bike, for people who can restrain themselves to only ordering slightly less than 125kg of shopping and live within three miles of a branch. Read More >>

housing
The House From ‘Spaced’ is For Sale, Gentrified, and £4,000,000

There's bad news for Mike, we're afraid, as he almost certainly won't be allowed in the house that was used as the backdrop for landmark Channel 4 sitcom Spaced any more, for fear he'd get snack crumbs on the expensive rugs or unduly move furniture from its optimal photogenic position and scratch the newly painted floorboards. Read More >>

health
Would You Go Running More if a Man Carried a TV in Front of You?

The safe exercise environments provided by gym chain David Lloyd are testing a new motivational service, with one gym offering the chance to jog around for a bit while a man with a tablet strapped to his back stays in front -- letting you watch TV over the sounds of your gasping breath, exploding heart, and the voice in your head saying 'This can't really be good for me'. Read More >>

money
Lake District Opts Out of Currency Union

A whole new bunch of bank notes are about to launch in the UK on May 1st, and these are going to be even harder to shift in a London Caffe Nero than a Scottish tenner – they're for the Lake District only. Read More >>

ads
Pret Told to Stop Pretending its Bread is Made By Forest Fairies

Pret a Manger is this week's highest profile victim to be shamed by the authoritarian overlords of our advertising standards watchdog, with the latter telling it to stop making so many claims about its "natural" foodstuffs when its bread is full of delicious, laboratory-produced E-numbers. Read More >>

politics
Government Workers are Stuck Redoing Things No One Can Find or Access

Rubbish old file formats, web sites that weren't backed up, and digital scans of files no one knows how to access are triggering what one research group calls a fall in "institutional memory" within the government, as new generations of staff redo work previously done and lost, deleted, or simply left inaccessible by technology's march and the man with the password retiring and taking the proprietary cable with him. Read More >>

lego
Massive Lego Ship is World’s Biggest, But Only an Advert

A company that operates big ships for real has made a fantastic one for pretend too, with Dream Cruises deciding to use 2.5 million Lego bricks to (a) get in the Guinness World Records, and (b) get people like us to spread the word of its for-real boats. Read More >>

bikes
Bike Thefts Are Up Because People Have Nice Ones Now

Reports of the stealing of bicycles are up, with the nationwide average increasing by 17 per cent last year when compared with 2015, and one particular London borough seeing ride-aways grow by a shocking 44 per cent. Read More >>

money
Lucky Millennials Will Never Know the Stress of Being Responsible for a Boiler

A group of thinkers have had a good think about the problems faced by the generation of citizens known as millennials, and the prognosis isn't good. They've come to the conclusion that one third of all young-ish people bracketed as millennials will never be able to afford or buy their own home, and will be renting in to their retirements. Read More >>

transport
Trains Skip Stops to Game Punctuality Tables

The rail franchises have discovered an amazing new punctuality hack that lets them pretend everything is running to schedule -- skipping stops on the line. This happened on over 52,500 services last year, as rail companies attempted to keep the trains at least within laughing distance of what the timetables promise. Read More >>

cars
Vandals Prefer Keying Cute Little Cars

It's not the loud, fat, urban tractors that suffer the most rage on the roads, it's actually the cute little cars that endure the greatest amount of vandalism by having their sides scratched and their wing mirrors bent too far the wrong way by angry passers-by. Read More >>

drones
Heathrow Drone Near-Miss Was Nearest Miss Yet

A plane taking off from Heathrow very nearly achieved the milestone of being the first passenger jet drone casualty, with the UK's air safety watchdog saying that someone's drone came within 20 feet of colliding with the plane. Read More >>