Walmart Might Dump its Majority Stake in Asda

For the past 20 years, Asda has been owned by Walmart – the US retail titan that somehow manages to sell kayaks in the same building as bags of lettuce and crisps. But changes may be afoot as Walmart is looking into investment from outside parties. Investment that would see the company sell off its majority stake in Asda, even though it plans to keep some sort of stake in the greenest UK supermarket chain. Read More >>

Greggs Concessions are Coming to Asda

New year dietary ambitions are about to go out of the window and shatter into a billion, tiny, flaky-crust pieces on the road below then be consumed by a dog, digested, and later pooed out somewhere unmentionable in an irreparable state, as beloved high street food provider Greggs has teamed up with Asda to bring hot sausage concessions to the land's supermarkets. Read More >>

Asda Tests Sustainability Store With Self-Filling Vending Foods Galore

Asda is preparing to see all manner of dried foods trod into the floor of its branch in Leeds, as a trial of big brand vending machines and endless refillable tubs is coming to see if we really can hack a future where everything doesn't come in plastic wrapping, inside a cardboard box, with wrapping around that too. Read More >>

Party Guests Shocked by Freak 20cm Asda Onion Ring

One pack of Asda brand onion ring crisps contained a massive surprise for the buyer, as something had clearly gone wrong with the maize reconstitution machine's outlet nozzle in the production facility, resulting in the formation of an enormous onion ring the size of a small banana. And it made it into the bag. An enquiry surely must be launched. Read More >>

Practice for Valentine’s Day by Gobbling Up a Few of Asda’s Love Sausages

Looking to make your loved one feel special this Valentine's Day? Or want to treat yourself? Why not pick up a wrinkly old sausage contorted into the shape of a heart? Read More >>

Asda Launches the Ultimate Christmas Snack – a Pig in Blanket Sausage Roll

Unless of course, you're not a fan of sausage rolls, or pigs in blanket. But you came here to read this, so that would be weird. Read More >>

Limited Edition Orange After Eights are a Thing and They Really Shouldn’t Be

There are a few chocolates in a box of Roses or Quality Street that are always left unopened, until they're tossed into the bin. They're the fruit cremés, of course. So why would you buy a whole pack of the things? Read More >>

Asda’s Selling £2 Doughnut Burgers

You know what our burgers have been missing up to now? A whacking great hole in the middle. Read More >>

The Sainsbury/Asda Takeover is Off

The mega-merger between supermarket giants Sainsbury and Asda has been killed off by the UK's competition watchdog, which says creating such a grocery monster would undermine competition when it comes to us lot deciding where to buy our cheese and chocolate chip cookies from. Read More >>

Asda Confuses Welsh Shoppers With Free Alcohol Claim

A branch of Asda in Wales tried to do the right thing in putting up Welsh-language signs to point the way to stuff on the aisles, but whoever did it made a big old mess of things and accidentally promised shoppers free beer. Blame the manager and Google Translate. Read More >>

Sainsbury’s and Asda May be Blocked From Merging

The Competition and Markets Authority has been weighing up the pros and cons of allowing Sainsbury's and Asda to conduct a super-merger of themselves, and appears to be slowly moving towards blocking the deal entirely. Read More >>

Asda Now Does Takeaway Pizza

Getting takeaway pizza just got a lot cheaper with the news that Asda is teaming up with JustEat to deliver its £6 pizzas to your doorstep. Read More >>

Asda’s Supermassive Mince Pie Crust Can Deflect All Complaints About Sugar and Obesity

Asda is trying to do to the mince pie scene what Cadbury has already done in the chocolate world with its supersized £1 bars that are now apparently the normal amount of chocolate to eat in one go, with the new normal in Asda mince pies this year being a gigantic 435g pie that costs £1.50. It has a lattice pastry topping, though. That shaves off a few carbs. It's practically ketogenic. Read More >>

Fancy White Chocolate & Caramel Cheese? Asda Thinks You Do

Asda is launching a truckle of Wensleydale cheese with... salted caramel and white chocolate. 'Scuse us while we hurl up our breakfasts. Read More >>

Asda Moves to Make a Giant Sausage the Centrepiece of Christmas

Look, right, the reason this is on a so-called tech site is because sausages are made by machines. I know this because Gregg did an Inside the Factory all about the making of sausages, and it was all stainless steel and surprisingly high-tech machinery churning out the beloved meat tubes. Hence Asda making a foot-long pig in a blanket is definitely tech news you need to know. Read More >>