Bike Training to be Offered to Every Child in England

The government is about to raise funding for cycle training across England, and is promising that an additional 400,000 places on various local schemes will be made available – enough for every child in the country to have a few sessions and lessons. Lesson one: It's all your fault and get out of the way for the nice man in his Audi who's already late because there was a queue of inexperienced young shoppers taking too long to pay in Costa. Read More >>

Tech Regulator Introduces New Code for Child Accounts

The Information Commissioner's Office has launched a new online code today, designed to force the usual tracking, advertising and monitoring giants to be a bit more respectful when there's probably a child behind the clicks and taps. Read More >>

Bonkers Sci-Fi Genome Sequencing to Become Normal for All UK Kids

As well as jabs and eye tests and being poked to make sure they react properly, the children of the UK will soon have a new type of test to go through as part of their NHS and societal indoctrinations – a full genome sequence. Read More >>

Scotland Bans the Smacking of Children Regardless of Naughtiness Level

The sort of people who still hit their children are in for some bad news, should they be able to read or comprehend current affairs, as Scotland's lawmakers have passed a bill that fully outlaws the smacking of children. Even softly. Threatening to do it is still fine, but they'll eventually work out that it never happens. Read More >>

Wildly Popular Kid YouTube Channel Accused of Deceptively Promoting Products to Millions of Children

Over the last three years, a consumer watchdog group has increasingly focused on the deceptive ad campaigns of social media influencers’ who manoeuvre within emerging platforms that are loosely regulated – but now the organisation has turned its attention to how children are being exploited in this field. Read More >>

Report: Parents of Child YouTubers Worry Getting Pushed to YouTube Kids Will Make Them Less Money

Earlier this month, the Wall Street Journal reported that YouTube was considering some drastic measures in response to growing criticism over its impact on children – which has included everything from a federal investigation into whether it illegally tracked kids to controversies over disturbing content aimed at children and the site’s use by paedophiles. Measures being considered by the company apparently included “moving all children’s content into a separate product, the existing stand-alone YouTube Kids app,” as well as disabling recommendation functions on videos aimed at kids, the Journal wrote. Read More >>

NHS Opens Child Gambling Clinics for the Loot Box Generation

The NHS is preparing to open a nationwide set of gambling clinics for young people this year, to combat the "scourge" of problem gambling driven by gaming sites and targeted adverts. Read More >>

Study Finds Alarming Number of Preteens Who Visit A&E Have Thoughts of Suicide

A sobering new study out Monday suggests that many preteens who visit emergency services could be in dire need of help to address their suicidal ideation. It found that a substantial number of children between the ages of 10 to 12 who went to the hospital screened positive for suicide risk. Read More >>

Australian Siblings Are Semi-Identical Twins, Some of the Rarest Humans Ever

A pair of Australian siblings are some of the rarest humans ever documented, according to their doctors. The brother and sister are said to be semi-identical twins, sharing the exact same DNA from their mother’s side, but only a portion of their father’s genetic makeup. The children are thought to be only the second case of semi-identical twins discovered, and the first to be identified during pregnancy. Read More >>

Parents Can Expect Less Sleep for the First Six Years of Their Child’s Life

Mums and dads shouldn’t expect their sleep habits to bounce back to the way they were before kids for at least the first six years of their child’s life, according to a new long-term study involving nearly 5,000 parents. Read More >>

Dad Never Getting the Wi-Fi to Himself as Children Live With Parents for Longer

Old people aren't getting everything entirely their way these days, as they're suffering the pain of having adult children who won't move out and give them a peaceful life and full control of the TV. Serves them right for buying all the nice houses in the 1980s. Read More >>

O2 and Alexa Have a Fun Festive Youth Speak Quiz

If you have one of those speakers you talk to as your main friend, here's a fun thing to do for a few minutes over Christmas -- an Alexa skill that explains common youth-slash-internet terminology and frames it as an enjoyable quiz for the the family. FML, eh, everyone? Read More >>

Blue Peter Limps to 60th Birthday Party Live Special

The BBC is still making worthy kids show Blue Peter, if putting it on CBBC counts, and is preparing to celebrate the programme's 60th anniversary with an hour-long live special. You know something or someone is going to be made to poo on the floor and make it look like an accident for viral purposes. Read More >>

Toddlers and Chimpanzees Share a Surprising Unspoken Language

Prior to developing the capacity for speech, toddlers communicate their desires, demands, and discontent using a diverse repertoire of physical gestures. As a new study shows, there’s a significant amount of overlap between the gestures employed by human children and those made by other ape species, a finding that’s casting new light on the origin of primate communication. Read More >>

Parents Want Their Kids to Tell Them About Homework and Tidying Up

As reported by the BBC, communications app ClassDojo has carried out research to determine the top 10 phrases parents most want to hear come out of their darling children's mouths. ClassDojo surveyed a panel of 1,000 parents to find out the things they'd most like to hear from their school-age children – and the results are mostly about being tidy, doing schoolwork, and generally being perfect little angels. Of course, practically no child in the history of the world has ever uttered any of these sentences. Read More >>