Liverpool Drug Dealers Caught Running “Click & Collect” National Service

Those clever old drug dealers have come up with yet more new ways to shift product in these dark days, with Merseyside Police saying they've seen mules dressed up in Deliveroo rider cosplay in order to escape questioning as to why they're out and about, knocking on doors and accepting money. Read More >>

Police Bust ‘Iconic’ Criminals After Cracking Criminal Messaging App

The National Crime Agency (NCA) has seized £54m in cash (!), two tonnes of drugs (!) and "several dozen guns" after hacking an encrypted messaging service being used by criminals. Read More >>

Airbnb Shamed Again, This Time for Enabling “Lockdown Parties”

The same sort of people who've been shitting in Pringles tubes and leaving them on the beaches for other people to clean up of late have been up to new sorts of mischief too, as the horror of the "lockdown party" in rented accommodation has been unearthed. Read More >>

Facebook Belatedly Bans All Trade in Historical Artifacts After Becoming Global Black Market Hub

Facebook has finally said it would now prohibit the sale of all historical artifacts due to rampant black market trade in looted antiquities on the site, per the New York Times – a problem the social media company has known about for years. Read More >>

Eight Arrested After DIY Pub Barricade Lock-In

A basket of drink-related crimes were back on the menu in one Liverpool pub early on Monday morning, when a crowd of around 100 illicit drinkers shut themselves in for some proximity and bevvies; and turned violent when police arrived and tried to break up the party. Read More >>

Fired eBay Execs Charged in Bizarre Cyberstalking Plot Against Company’s Critics

An unfortunate reality of journalism is that, while anyone in the industry for long enough has gotten their share of death threats, some coverage – reporting on white supremacists, taking photos in a war zone, exposing deep-pocketed oil companies – simply tends to be more emotionally, physically, financially dangerous to pursue. Not to be outdone by the other various bastards of the world, a handful of former eBay workers have now been charged with an elaborate harassment campaign against the husband-and-wife team behind a newsletter they simply didn’t like. Read More >>

European Police Bust Alleged Pirate Streaming Service With Over Two Million Users

Sick of streaming paywalls and unending searches on multiple services to find where that one movie doesn’t cost a fiver? Seems like a whole lot of people across Europe are too. Police throughout the European Union have taken down a TV and movie streaming ring that they claim involved over two million subscribers, dozens of servers, and even a customer support team, Bloomberg reported on Wednesday. Read More >>

Police Cyclists Go Undercover to Monitor Dangerous Driving

A handful of lucky cycling police officers within the Avon and Somerset force have landed the dream job of smashing it about on bikes during work time, as part of a mind-games war on dangerous local drivers. Read More >>

Naked Sunbather Near Railway Line Triggers Dead Body Hunt

A man has reached new levels of feeling silly this week, after his spot of naked sunbathing led to police being called because observers were concerned they'd discovered a dead body. Read More >>

Government Reassures People That Sex is Not Banned

It probably won't come as a surprise to learn that something the government has said is a baffling pile of contradictory nonsense that's laughed at and destroyed within seconds of being distributed, as was the case with a series of fresh coronavirus pronouncements that appeared to ban sex due to obvious proximity reasons. Read More >>

Cummings Goes Down Under as Mockery of Advisor Crosses Continents

"Long way to go for an eye test" is the most common comment by far beneath this image of Dominic Cummings, spotted within the fake cardboard crowd placed about an Australian stadium to make a National Rugby League match seems a little more atmospheric. Read More >>

Drug Dealers Turn to Dark Web to Shift Their Unauthorised Stress Relievers

A near 500 per cent increase in listings for illegal drug sales on the dark web has been spotted by researchers, who say the nation's dealers are all having crash courses in onion browsing and underground marketplaces to shift their wares online; safer and easier than pretending to be a delivery driver and making failed attempts at blending in. Read More >>

Woman Breaks Lockdown Law With Welsh Excursion Claiming She Didn’t Know It Wasn’t in England

We bloody love the Welsh here at Giz UK, but one English woman has declared them all to be a "bunch of bastards" after travelling 100 miles across the border for a day trip and getting reprimanded by police. Read More >>

Competition Watchdog Handed Power to Seize Rip-Off Sellers’ Domains and Accounts

The Competition and Markets Authority has acquired a few new teeth with which to nibble the rogue traders of the nation, as it'll soon be able to seize the Amazon and eBay accounts of the most-complained-about sellers – and may even take control and possession of entire domain names, should they be deemed used for ill purposes. Read More >>

Disney Declares War on Club Penguin Clones After Swearing, Racism and Penguin Sex Discovered

Disney has told the operator of Club Penguin Online to close, not merely because it's an unofficial clone of Disney's former internet gaming portal Club Penguin built with unauthorised copies of its code, but also due to the way admins have been running the site in a way that welcomes – or at least entirely ignores – racist and sexual content. Read More >>