food
Party Guests Shocked by Freak 20cm Asda Onion Ring

One pack of Asda brand onion ring crisps contained a massive surprise for the buyer, as something had clearly gone wrong with the maize reconstitution machine's outlet nozzle in the production facility, resulting in the formation of an enormous onion ring the size of a small banana. And it made it into the bag. An enquiry surely must be launched. Read More >>

food
Mariah Carey Overload Imminent as Walkers Makes Her the Face of Christmas Crisps

Sleigh bell sounds are to be replaced by crisp packet rustling in the lounges of the land this Christmas, as Walkers is about to unleash the full fury of Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas Is You across adverts for its box sets of crisps. Read More >>

food
Hula Hoops Factory Accused of Grimy-Fingered Shame

Several of the UK's major supermarkets have come together to accuse KP Snacks of manufacturing our favourite reconstituted salted foodstuffs in unhygienic conditions, thanks to an anonymous whistleblower claiming the firm's Ashby de la Zouch factory is a right mess that's compromising the safety of the beloved Hula Hoop. Read More >>

food
Chemists Promise Breakthrough in Crisp Packet Technology

The difficulties of recycling crisp packets with the metallised films the makers use to keep our sandwich accompaniments fresh could be over soon, thanks to scientists working on new methods of stopping our beloved salty potato products from going soggy. Read More >>

food
Health Lobbyists Demand Plain Packaging for Crisps

Some people sitting in a tank and having a think about health have come up with an entirely predictable idea for how to stop us all getting fatter -- treat junk food in the same way we currently demonise cigarettes, by making the crisps and Kit Kats come in plan packaging. Read More >>

plastic
Walkers’ Crisp Packet Recycling Bin Network is Live so Lay Off Gary Lineker on Twitter

The Walkers crisps recycling nightmare is over! The crisp maker, in association with recycler Terracycle, has officially opened a nationwide-ish network of recycling drop off points where your embarrassingly huge bin liner full of all the crisps packets you've eaten out of can be returned, which should be easier then putting them in the post. Read More >>

environment
Pringles For Lunch is Environmentally Sound Now

We've learned two things in a very short time today: Pringles tubes can be recycled now, and the Pringles brand is owned by Kellogg's in the UK, which could – we emphasise could – mean that Pringles might be an acceptable breakfast going forwards. Read More >>

food
After Sprout and Candy Cane Flavours, Tesco’s Camembert Crisps Just Sound Boring

As we all know Christmas is a time for big brands and supermarkets to come up with some really weird festive products. Weird like sprout and pig flavoured teas, crisps with tones of Christmas/Pine tree, sprout, and toothpaste candy cane. After all that, Tesco's new Camembert flavour crisps just sound dull. And by dull I mean they sound normal, and not likely to make me wish I was eating an old sock. Read More >>

food
Two Pints of Baileys and a Packet of Brussels Sprouts Crisps, Please

Walkers is about to launch three new types of crisp packet that will eventually end up preserved at the bottom of the Mariana Trench for millennia, and one of them will divide the country like never before. There will soon be a Brussels. Sprout. Flavour. Crisp. Packet. Containing Brussels. Sprout. Flavour. Crisps. Read More >>

food
Danger Chilli Levels Expected in New Crisps Range

Cute and traditional crisps maker Seabrook has decided it's time to go dark and menacing on us, with the launch of three varieties of ultra-hot crisp designed to test the nation's newfound love of extremely hot foods. Read More >>

environment
Actually Yes, Do Send Us All Your Old Crisp Packets Now, Walkers Says

People power has worked, yo, with a fist pump in the air coming from all those who posted their crisp packets back to Walkers – celebrating news that empty crisp packets are now welcome in the Walkers office as it has signed a new and oddly hasty recycling deal to slow the inexorable flood of licked-clean crisp packets into the environment. Read More >>

environment
Brave Eco-Warriors Asked to Stop Posting Empty Crisp Packets to Walkers

There's a mass campaign going on out there right now where anti-plastic campaigners send their empty crisp packets back to Walkers using the crisp maker's own freepost address, which is all very clever and raises all the modern issues about non-recyclable plastic – but spare a thought for the poor old posties having to sort them. Read More >>

food
Cheese and Onion Crisps Added to Heatwave Shortage List

Farmers are warning that the hot weather has impacted the nation's onion harvest now as well as threatening the potato crop, so... Jesus Christ they might start running out of cheese and onion crisps. Read More >>

food
Salt and Vinegar Crisps Added to List of Very Bad Things

You might think crisps are at least partially good for your teeth thanks to not containing half an acre's worth of high fructose corn syrup, but no. Salt and vinegar ones are bad for your teeth, they say, as the acid levels contribute to the wearing away of your wonky little mouthypegs. Read More >>

food
Doritos Plans “Low Crunch” Crisps for the Ladies

The current boss of brand behemoth PepsiCo has revealed a plan to attack the difficult world of what women eat when they allow themselves to, revealing that the company's Doritos crisps line is shortly to expand to feature several items created specifically for the ladies. Read More >>