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Man Survives Drunken Fall Under Moving Train

A man is currently pondering whether he actually serves some great and previously unknown important purpose on earth, after the gods decided to let him live when he fell under a moving train at Manchester Piccadilly station. Read More >>

Lancaster Uni Plans Spot Fines for Drunk Students

There's a sense of unease among student drinkers at Lancaster University's Lonsdale College, where university bosses have announced plans for a £200 spot fine for drunkenness along with a £250 fine for being seen buying a drink for someone who's clearly already a bit far gone. Read More >>

£400-a-Night ‘Drunk Tanks’ to Save High Street From Booze Armageddon?

Binge-drinking youths might soon find themselves locked up in a modern version of the drunk tank, with police chiefs pushing plans to bung drunks into special holding cells to vomit and wee over themselves while sobering up. Then charging them up to £400 for their stay. Read More >>

Drunk Welshman Stripped Off and Twerked Naked Against a Land Rover

24-year-old Daniel Cooper, from Holywell in North Wales, had the night of his life back on August 18th, managing to get himself arrested for drunkenly simulating sex with an innocent young Land Rover Discovery that was parked outside a kebab shop. Read More >>

Drunk Teen Sold Stolen Safari Park Tortoise for £30

The dangers of drinking and visiting safari parks have been illustrated by young Adam Steff, who stole a giant tortoise from Woburn Safari Park. You know, for a laugh. Read More >>

Drunk Idiot Takes a Nap On Airport Baggage Belt And Gets X-Rayed

Passing out in weird places is part of any good drunk's job, but a Norwegian tourist has taken the artform to a whole new level by falling asleep on an airport baggage belt, and taking a trip back to the scanners. Read More >>