BBC Bins Letting the Public Choose the UK’s Eurovision Entry

From 2020 the BBC will no longer host numerous Eurovision build up programmes where we get to choose the UK's entry into the song contest, and is instead outsourcing the picking of a song – and therefore all the blame and retribution – to music industry conglomerate BMG. Read More >>

Royaume-Uni Retrospectively Drops Five Points to Lose Eurovision Even More

The annual ritual humiliation of the UK that unfolds live on TV screens across Europe has placed a small cherry of humiliation atop the massive cake of humiliation we were served on Saturday, as the UK's score at Eurovision has now been revised further downwards. Read More >>

Pornhub’s Traffic Dropped During Eurovision’s Final but You Fickle Wankers Came Back Hard Afterwards

The depraved desires and freaky fetishes we indulge in during the course of our fleeting visits to Pornhub seem to be affected by what's going on in the cultural zeitgeist. Take the spike in Star Wars searches on the site on May 4th, for example. Or all the thirsty Avengers fans that flooded the site in the lead up to Endgame's release. Read More >>

Will Ferrell Thinks He Understands Eurovision Enough to Make a Film of it

Four words are striking equal amounts of horror into the hearts of film and music fans today, and they are: Will Ferrell Eurovision film. As in, Will Ferrell is going to be in a film all about the Eurovision Song Contest using low-bar Netflix money to pay for it. Let's hope he's going to play Terry Wogan and really piss that streaming money up the wall. Read More >>

Bloc-Voting, Backstabbing and Brexit: What Do Eurovision Voting Patterns Tell Us?

Half of Europe woke up last Sunday morning with a pounding hangover and a dim memory of a woman clucking like a chicken. This can only mean one thing: Eurovision is back. Read More >>

Sheeran Wants to Sheeran-ise Eurovision Next

Ed Sheeran has noticed somewhere currently mostly free of Ed Sheeran that he thinks might benefit from having an Ed Sheeran injection — Eurovision. Read More >>

The Amazon Echo Just Got a Bunch of Features for Eurovision

Tomorrow is the Eurovision final, better known as the annual festival where the rest of Europe tells the UK to shove it, regardless of how good our entry was. Then all four countries get to pretend that they don't actually care - despite eagerly watching the whole thing from start to finish. To commemorate the date, Amazon has revealed a bunch of new skills for Alexa and the Echo. Read More >>

Moneyball-ing Eurovision: Could Big Data Help the UK Win the Song Contest?

Tonight Britain answers perhaps the most important question about Europe that it will face this year: Who should represent us in the Eurovision Song Contest? Read More >>

Eurovision Organisers Impose Strict Flag and Banner Regulations

Non-competing countries and states may not have their flags waved within the halls of this year's Eurovision, with the organisers revealing an attempt to crack down on attempts to politicise the event. Read More >>

UK Has Bugger All Chance of Winning Eurovision, Says Bing

As the Eurovision Song Contest prepares to grace our screens as it does every year, there may be some insane folk in the UK that believe the country's entrant for this year, Electro Velvet, stand a chance of winning. According to Microsoft, however, there's about as much chance of that happening as there is of Ed Miliband being Prime Minister during the next five years. Read More >>

Eurovision Qualifier Voting “Hacked” in Sweden

It's thought that voting in one regional heat of the Eurovision qualifiers may have been hacked, with the polling process throwing up suspicious data that led to a large chunk of the votes in part of the show being binned. Read More >>

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A Song About Facebook Is Probably the Worst Eurovision Song Ever

OK, I’ve heard some really, really bad Eurovision songs in my time. But this, well, this takes the biscuit. Facebook, uh oh oh – is that the sound of the poor bloke on the keyboard being forced to twinkle on the keys at knifepoint? Read More >>

UK Tactically Deploys Engelbert Humperdinck in EU Crisis Zone

It's usually Germany or Finland that provides the comedy entry at Eurovision. This year it's going to be us, thanks to the BBC's decision to send Engelbert Humperdinck out to Azerbaijan to represent the nation. Read More >>