Michael Owen’s Huawei Endorsement Is Cringetastically Awkward

Celebrity endorsements are usually a cringefest, and Huawei's have historically been even more so. Celebs including Scarlett Johansson and Henry Cavill have promoted the smartphone brand in the past, and the latest name in the Huawei stable is footballer Michael Owen. Read More >>

Cadbury’s Made A Chocolate Bar Shaped Like A Football Pitch

Have you ever wanted to eat an entire football pitch's worth of chocolate? Well, Cadbury has your back -- sort of. Read More >>

MPs Told “No Ball Games” in the House of Commons

A group of female MPs decided to have an impromptu kickabout in the House of Commons after work one evening, to promote the fact that there is a women's parliamentary football team and also to celebrate the 100th year anniversary of women being allowed to vote. But a big old angry and traditional MAN told them off for doing so. Read More >>

Now TV Would Like You to Watch Football, so its Discounted the 10 Month Sports Pass

I don't pay attention to football if I can help it, so being told that the new season is upon us is news to me. The people who care probably already know that, but what you don't already know is that Sky is willing to go to great lengths to have you hand over your money to watch sportball games on one of its own platforms. That's why the Now TV 10 month sports pass has had a 45 per cent price cut. Read More >>

UEFA’s Allowed to Expand its Piracy-Blocking Efforts Too

A couple of weeks ago the High Court gave the Premier League permission to extend its existing piracy-blocking powers into 2019, ensuring the footballing organisation could force internet providers to block illegal streams in real time. Now UEFA has just been granted that same extension. Read More >>

The 2018 England Squad Have Been Added to Miniland at Legoland Windsor

Despite all the people who jumped on the bandwagon after England started doing well in the World Cup, our national team did not win the tournament. France did, and England got beaten by Belgium (again) to come in fourth. Still it's the best result the team has managed since 1990, and some footbally types are quite pleased with the results regardless. Not as much as if they'd won, but still. So lots of things are being done to celebrate, including adding the team to the Miniland area of Legoland Windsor. Read More >>

TfL Copies Internet World Cup Joke a Week Late

Transport for London would like everyone to know that it has a sense of humour, albeit one on a 10-day time delay circuit because all jokes must be approved, and it would also like brands with deep pockets to know it isn't against the idea of renaming Underground stations for a laugh. Hence: Gareth Southgate station is now a thing. Read More >>

Football Nearly as Popular as Weddings and Death

The football last night, that was exciting for a bit, annoying for a bit, then sad for what seemed like ages, was one of the country's most-watched TV experiences in a generation, with a peak of 26.5 million people gathering around the big old boxes in the corner of the living room to watch England's ball battle with Croatia. Read More >>

People Like World Cup Football More Than Porn, According to Pornhub Stats

There are only a handful of things I know for certain about the human race. For example I know that there is no limit to the depths of human stupidity, and that a lot of people are quite fond of both porn and football. But which of those last two is more popular? According to Pornhub's World Cup stats it's football. Which probably isn't too surprising after EE pointed out people are ditching the internet during match time. Read More >>

Here’s The Tech We Were Using Last Time England Reached A World Cup Semi-Final

The 4th July 1990, the last time England reached the World Cup semi-final, was a very different time. Take politics, for example: The Conservative Party was massively divided over Europe, and their female Prime Minister's leadership was under threat from malcontents within her own party. How can we possibly begin to understand what that might feel like today? Read More >>

Wimbledon Says You Can Watch Football on Your Phone if Made to Endure Live Tennis

Football fans! Specifically, football fans whose wives booked very expensive tickets for Wimbledon ages ago and now you sort of have to go. There's some good news about this. The authorities at the tennis tournament have said that it will be OK to activate your phone and watch the football while in the grounds of Wimbledon, as long as you can manage to not stand up and go "F*CKING SQUARE IT DELLE JESUS CHRIST MAN ON" while someone's serving at 30-40 down. Read More >>

Aldi and Lidl Will Close Early if England Make it to the World Cup Final

I'm rather surprised that England have done so well in this World Cup, and so have large number of people across the country given how quickly the hype levels have gone from zero to over 9,000. While the country preps for the possibility that England may actually be in a chance of winning, and with Labour calling for a bank holiday if they do, Aldi and Lidl have decided that they'll get things going early by shutting their stores early if England makes it to the final. Read More >>

MP Calls on Government to Install Big TVs Everywhere for the Football

A Labour MP has had an idea about how politics can be used for good instead of clogging up the internet with tedious, unfocused rage about Brexit -- get the government to give funds to local councils to erect massive football screens for people to watch the World Cup on. Seeing as the England team is not, at time of writing, considered to be as bad at football as usual. Read More >>

20m Fans Tuned Into BBC One to Watch England Beat Sweden in Their World Cup Quarter Final

Alright, that figure is a tiny bit of a fib. The actual number of folk who tuned into the Beeb to watch England vanquish the Swedes 2-0 was a 'mere' 19.9 million; a peak high recorded as the quarter-final match of this thrilling World Cup was ending. Read More >>

Ikea is Celebrating the England v Sweden Game With a ‘Plate of Two Halves’ Meal Deal

Tomorrow is the next stage of the World Cup for England, where it's going to be going up against Sweden, and to celebrate that clash notorious furniture maze Ikea will be offering a special 'plate of two halves' meal deal. So anyone who orders a plate of Ikea's famous meatballs (or the veggie ball alternative) will also get a plate of fish and chips thrown in at no extra cost. Read More >>