Government Declares War on Grandma’s Coal Fire

There's something you need to know about coal before reading this in your gas-heated ivory bedsit. There are types of coal, like there are these little egg-shaped lumps of uniform coal that have been processed and, somehow, are allowed to be described as "smokeless" types because they burn cleaner. They're fine. They're safe and you can set them on fire all you like, as long as you do it on something metal and not on the carpet. What's about to be banned is the wrong type of coal. Read More >>

giz asks
Can You Get Ill From Air Conditioning?

At the peak of summer, when just walking to and from the corner store necessitates a shower and a change of clothes, air-conditioning can seem almost too good to be true. It is one of the few staples of modernity without severe and readily apparent downsides: all it does, or all it seems to do, is make things cooler, while generating a soft, lulling noise redolent of childhood afternoons spent indoors watching cartoons. What’s the catch? How exactly are these things slowly killing us, like every other good thing in the world? Read More >>

Cheese and Onion Crisps Added to Heatwave Shortage List

Farmers are warning that the hot weather has impacted the nation's onion harvest now as well as threatening the potato crop, so... Jesus Christ they might start running out of cheese and onion crisps. Read More >>

Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Leave a Giant Parabolic Mirror in Your Car on a Sunny Day

We all know you shouldn’t leave pets, infants, or the elderly in your car on a sunny summer day. But giant parabolic mirrors also deserve a spot on that list, a lesson a teacher in residence at an American science museum learned the hard way last week when he accidentally melted his Subaru Outback’s interior. Read More >>

Eurotunnel Turns Hoses on Dogs and Kids as Heat Breaks its Trains

Here's a classic bit of UK infrastructure news: the air conditioning on the Channel Tunnel trains isn't working very well because it's too hot. Hence thousands of angry people are hoovering up the mobile internet in the Folkestone area and complaining about massive delays in getting the family off to France. Read More >>

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How To Keep Cool On The Tube (And Everywhere Else) Without Waiting Until 2030

Today is a very hot day. The latest in a string of hot days that is likely causing a hefty spike in sales of ice cream and air conditioners. This bout of hot weather has also caused some outrage amongst the people of London, because they've all been reminded that one of the hottest and most important Underground lines (Central) won't be getting air conditioning until 2030. Read More >>

Swedes Generate Power From Unsafe H&M Shirts

A heat and power station in the Swedish city of Vasteras has been using an unusual source of matter for burning -- discarded H&M clothing. 15 tonnes of it so far this year. Read More >>

Union Threatens to Put Hospital Porters in Dresses Over Trouser Length Dispute

Another war over short trousers has broken out in heatwave-ravaged and angry Britain, with this latest bit of smart/casual fury centring around hospital porter Michael Wood and the case of the rolled-up work trousers. Read More >>

Employers Urged to Let Staff Ditch Suits During Hot Weather

It's currently 25 degrees inside my flat which, while not ideal, isn't the worst situation to be in. Working from home means I have plenty of access to fans, ice cream, and am able to remove clothing as I see fit. Not everyone has that luxury, which is why the TUC is urging employers to loosen their dress codes during this kind of weather - particularly for men that are expected to wear a full suit and tie. Read More >>

Heat Ink and Hairdryers Used to Make Secret Porn

Heat activated ink, a talent for drawing and a DIRTY DIRTY MIND have been combined by a Japanese artist, who draws nearly naked women and clothes them in a special ink that disappears when heated -- so their outerwear can be blown off by a hairdryer. Read More >>

Government Opens £320m “Heating for Cities” Fund to Bids

The government has started taking bids for the first £39m chunk of a £320m kitty set aside to enhance the heat reclamation options within England and Wales, with bidders asked to come up with ways we can recycle waste heat and use it to keep old ladies warm on the cheap through the winter. Read More >>

Did the Apocalypse Just Start?

Over the past 48 hours, compelling evidence has emerged that a long-anticipated End Times is finally upon us. Let’s have a look. Read More >>

The Single Day Heat Record for the Eastern Hemisphere Has Just Been Shattered

Think it’s been hot the last few days? Well, you need to shut-up and stop complaining, because parts of the Middle East are getting absolutely scorched right now. Yesterday, the temperature in Mitribah, Kuwait soared to a blistering 54 degrees Celsius. That’s a record for our planet’s Eastern hemisphere. Read More >>

How to Fix Today’s Inevitable Sunburn

Been outside? Warm, isn't it? At least that's what the weather forecasters are all saying today anyway, while I sit here in a cold room generating content. So here, if you've been caught out by the sun and currently have arms as pink as a Disney character's chuff, are some of the best common sunburn remedies, as used by housewives and recommended by pharmaceutical giants for generations. Read More >>

British Gas and EDF Finally Chop UK Gas Prices

British Gas and EDF Energy have both rather belatedly joined the energy price-cutting party, revealing plans to cut around five per cent from household gas charges. Read More >>