Department Store Chain Beales Fails to Sell Anything Including Itself

Department store Beales is about to disappear from the few high streets where it's been grimly hanging on to life for the last few months, as efforts to find a buyer for even the posh one in Diss have fallen though; leaving the entire operation facing imminent closure. Read More >>

The Children Suffer as Toy Sales Fell in 2019

Sales of flimsy red and yellow plastic junk categorised as "toys" fell over 2019, with the overall value of the child entertainment sector dropping by six per cent year-on-year to a value of £3.2bn. Read More >>

GAME is Shutting 40 of its High Street Shops

The high street takes another hit asd GAME announced it will be shutting 40 of its shops amid issues regarding landlords and rent. In other words it's going to be a little bit harder to get your games in an actual shop, and not pulled out of the back of an Amazon delivery van. Read More >>

HMV Continues Gradual Slide into New Apocalypse

Three more branches of HMV are to close this month, as negotiations with landlords to secure rent reductions have collapsed and the new owner has thrown in a few metaphorical towels, surrendered the leases, and will make some staff redundant. Read More >>

TSB Graciously Makes Way for 82 New Branches of Greggs

A couple of traditional grim pre-Christmas job scythings are underway at the moment, with staff of the TSB bank and workers at energy supplier Npower currently expecting to receive a nice card from the boss containing a hand-drawn sad-face emoticon wearing a Santa hat and a P45. Read More >>

All 79 UK Mothercare Shops to Close

The [type of people] who buy [the sort of stuff] from Mothercare will soon have to find another place to buy [whatever it is], as the newly-appointed administrator has confirmed that all 79 of the UK branches are to close. There is no emergency, last-minute, probably-Sports-Direct saviour on the horizon, as it's such a loss-maker that no one's mad enough to touch it, not even Mike Ashley after too many massive cups of coffee. Read More >>

Mothercare Bankers Throw Administration Out of Pram

We're not exactly Mothercare demographic here so you're forgiven for thinking that the chain went out of business in the same financial shock that took out Woolworths and that first wave of over-leveraged high street businesses more than a decade ago, but no – Mothercare still exists and employs 2,500 people. At time of writing at least. Read More >>

Supercuts Plans Own Nasty Financial Haircut

High street hairdresser chain Supercuts is potentially on the way out, as the owner has appointed administrators to sort out the mess of debts and rents and legal battles that are dragging it down and leaving staff dangerously distracted while holding scissors. Read More >>

WHSmith to Bring Unique Blend of Expensive Water and Outdated Stationery to the US

WHSmith is doing the opposite of going bankrupt, calling in the administrators, sacking staff by automated mass text message and boarding up half the high street, as it's somehow doing so well for money and credit worthiness that it's found and agreed to spend £312 million on purchasing a US-based rough approximation of itself. Read More >>

Jessops is Today’s Doom-Threatened High Street Name

High street camera chain Jessops, which went bust six years ago but managed to avoid total extinction by selling a few decent assets to TV businessman Peter Jones, is preparing to declare itself bankrupt again and begin a process that could see some of its 46 remaining outlets closed for good. Read More >>

Argos Shrinks to Become a Desk in a Corner of Sainsbury’s

Retail stalwart Argos is the latest victim of outlet downsizing, but it's not going to disappear from the high street altogether just yet. Brand owner Sainsbury's is planning to close between 60 and 70 standalone Argos branches over the next year or two, and will instead begin hosting them as miniature concessions within its supermarkets. Read More >>

Environmentalists Demand Fridge Doors

The big old racks of cold bottled beverages in our supermarkets and the convenient newsagent are today's target for environmentalists, who have run the maths on their solar calculators and found that these doorless chillers consume one whole percent of the nation's entire energy supply. A cold Ribena is often important, but perhaps not so important that it keeps the national grid straining to cope. Read More >>

Primark’s New Birmingham Store Is so Popular That Holiday Websites Are Adding It as a Destination

Ever since Primark opened its largest store in Birmingham, the shop has become quite the attraction, with a number of travel agencies cashing in on the excitement by offering excursions to the store. Read More >>

The Money Shop Shuts Because Everyone Hates it

427 staff serving in more than 100 branches of The Money Shop – which recently pivoted from payday loan provider to a more traditional classic pawnbroker operation – are facing redundancy, as the chain literally surrenders under the weight of negative public opinion. Read More >>

Amazon Rides in to Save the High Street it Previously Destroyed in Series 2, Episode 6

Amazon has seen an opportunity for growth in the UK, seeing as rents are cheap out there on the high street beneath decaying signs that say things like "Maplin" and "BHS," and is backing the opening of 10 pop-up shops to test the public's appetite for carrying their new stuff home with them like in the old days. Read More >>