Why I Have Renewed Respect for the Apple Retail System

Regular readers may remember that, exactly one month ago, the hard drive in my (2008) MacBook crashed, leaving me computerless and confused as to how best to procede. Read More >>

RIP My Hard Drive, 2008-2012

This morning, I woke up to find my MacBook barely functioning, frozen, and plagued by a near-constant spinning rainbow of death. Long, painful story much shorter: my hard drive crashed and I can either have a new one installed, tomorrow at the earliest (I'm writing tonight from the completely empty office!), or I can buy a new computer since mine is pretty old anyway (2008). Read More >>

How Realistic Would a Robot Have to Be for You to Have Sex with It?

Implements for human-robot relations already run the gamut from abstract Fleshlights to fully-articulated, Uncanny Valley-straddling love dolls. But is more realism always better? Read More >>

Whaddya Mean Google Can’t Translate Pages into Elvish?

So what if Google Translate knows over 60 languages? Who cares that I can change text from Urdu to Haitian Creole? Where are the languages I need — like Klingon, Orc, or Sindarin? I mean, come on, there's not even an option for English to Jive! Read More >>

Why Can’t Siri Help Me Be Less of a Drunk-Dialling Schmuck?

So I find this clip of the Ellen Degeneres show. Some dude in the audience gets down on a knee, pops the question to his girlfriend, and she says no. He's f*cking crushed and, I figure, will need a drink or 17 before the evening is over. But, as any recently dumped individual knows, the worst thing you can do in this situation is get historically slammed and drunk dial your freshly-ex'd. And that got me to thinking. Read More >>

Weird Nokia Lumia 800 Battery Issue. Am I the Only One?

So I've been using a Lumia 800 for a few weeks now, and mostly I'm loving it. Two big problems though—both battery-related: 1) Once you get a bunch of live-updated, location-aware apps, the battery goes to shit. Read More >>

Would Anybody Else Upload Their Consciousness to the Internet?

I was watching Ghost in the Shell again today—for the umpteenth time—and got to thinking: If the technology existed in the future and I had the opportunity to do so, I'd totally abandon this meat sack that I exist in and upload my consciousness to the 'Net. Read More >>