cars
MPs Ask For Nationwide Ban on Pavement Car Parking

An isolated pocket of MPs having meetings that aren't about Brexit has had an idea, and would like to see the Department for Transport make our small town and village pavements more welcoming by banning the parking of cars atop them. Read More >>

bicycles
Labour Lord Demands Number Plates for Cyclists

Lord Winston, who we recognise off 1980s telly for some reason, is thinking of launching a one-man war on cyclists, and is already writing letters to newspapers suggesting he may lead a campaign to make number plates on bikes – and maybe even mandatory insurance for cyclists – a thing that happens. Read More >>

cars
Cars Sign Own Death Warrant With Plan For Automatic Speed Limiters

EU lawmakers have agreed on a plan to force the introduction of intelligent speed assistance systems in all new cars sold from the year 2022. It's a smart braking system that automatically slows cars when they hit speed limited areas, adding a new layer of boredom to journeys. Read More >>

uber
Courts Rule Entirely Against Uber’s Casual Worker Employment Model

The UK courts seem to have ruled against the very existence of and core concept behind Uber, with the latest decision in the long-running set of legal cases over driver rights landing very firmly in favour of the workers. Read More >>

food
MPs Call For Entirely Unnecessary Ban on Eating Dogs

Apparently, it isn't technically illegal to eat dog meat in this country, a fact that shouldn't really need pointing out as it's honestly never really occurred to anyone. Dogs are for patting, walking, and social content generation, not stews. But the fact is being pointed out by international animal protection charities, so, always keen to enact the will of the people, our MPs are trying to make sure that the UK's dog-eating legal loophole is soon closed. Read More >>

internet
Government Eyes Regulator for *Entire Internet*

Someone in the government has had a great idea for a job that could be given to Boris Johnson to do as a punishment -- make him the internet regulator. Imagine being the internet regulator. It'd be be like when something goes wrong with a massive pipe at an oil rig and the work experience boy is sent in with a set of hex keys and some masking tape to fix it. Read More >>

cars
Police Are Going to Start Testing Drivers’ Eyesight by the Side of the Road

If you get pulled over by the police, generally speaking they'll make sure the car you're driving is yours, that you have got a valid licence, and in some cases they'll test to make sure you're not too drunk to be legally driving. Now, though, they may be checking to see if your eyesight is good enough, because if it's not they'll be taking your driving licence off you. Read More >>

airbnb
Airbnb Told to Stop Smashing on Mystery Costs at the End

Room booking app operator Airbnb has been handed a big of list of things it needs to do better, with EU consumer commissioners warning it to stop hiding additional fees until the very end of the booking process, as that's a bit of a shady thing to do and has ruined many a dream of a cheap night somewhere bearable. Read More >>

health
Media MP Rules Out Screen-Time Laws for Kids

Law-facilitating culture node Matt Hancock MP has ruled out interfering with our current tablet and smartphone babysitting system, with the culture secretary saying there's no need for formal legislation to limit, or attempt to limit, the percentage of their lives that children fritter away watching braying cocks pretending to be excited about unwrapping a Twix on YouTube. Read More >>

drugs
Legalising Cannabis is a Financial Win-Win Scenario Says Tax Pressure Group

The Taxpayers' Alliance, which is nothing to do with the government despite sounding boring enough to be so, has run the numbers on legalising cannabis. They say it'd work out very well. Read More >>

spacex
An Obsolete Law Prohibits SpaceX From Broadcasting Videos From Space

During the March 30 webcast of a Falcon 9 launch, video of the ascent was abruptly cut off at the nine minute mark, with SpaceX officials saying it did so to fall in line with government restrictions. Weird, right? What’s even weirder is that an obscure, decades-old law is now suddenly being enforced. So what gives? Read More >>

cars
Government to Spend Three Years Working Out Who the Driver is in a Driverless Car

The government is about to give a group of people a nice easy, fun bit of legal negotiating to do, as it prepares to launch a three-year rethink of driving laws in preparation for the self-driving car boom that everyone assumes is coming because the tech companies all say it is. Read More >>

comedy
Comedian Sued by Husband for Joking About Relationship

A British comedian is being sued by her estranged husband for defamation after making reference to their faltering relationship in part of her on-stage routine. Read More >>

copyright
New Cartoon Aims to Teach 7-Year-Olds About Copyright Infringement

There's a lot of things that kids need to learn, but I'm not sure copyright infringement would rate highly on the list. Some disagree though, as the Intellectual Property Office has come up with a series of short animated videos to teach kids about copyright and trademarking. Read More >>

crime
Local Faked Council Parking Signs to Keep Commuters Away

A person in Bath, driven mad by outsiders dumping their cars on his or her road, has created their own restricted parking area — Zone F. Zone F doesn't actually exist, but the parking signs this road vigilante made look very authentic indeed. Read More >>