The Isle of Man is Not Messing About and is Jailing Coronavirus Outdoor-Goers

Two people in the Isle of Man are now in the prison on the Isle of Man, for various floutings of today's coronavirus rules. Read More >>

DIY Bomb-Maker Let Off Because He Was Merely Experimenting as a Hobby

A 22-year-old man from Coventry who claims to have developed an interest in bombs after watching The Hurt Locker has been let off by the Supreme Court, which agreed with his legal team's assertion that building bombs for "personal experimentation" and/or his own "self-education" is actually fine. Read More >>

Magna Carta Thief Says He Just Wanted to Check It Over

The madman who attempted to steal a copy of the Magna Carta has come up with a brilliant excuse in the year since his arrest, telling the court he was merely planning on examining it to check its authenticity, as he had reason to believe it may have been a fake or perhaps a particularly believable photocopy. Read More >>

E-Scooter Legalisation Would See Them Lumped in With Electric Bikes

The government's about to open up a consultation that may get electric scooters out of their current quantum entanglement purgatory where they simultaneously exist yet are not allowed to be observed being used anywhere, with the preferred legal change being to pretend they're simply smaller, more wobbly versions of electric bikes. Read More >>

Pilotless Drones Given Go Ahead for UK Testing

We may now once again all start pretending that drone deliveries will ever be a thing, as the UK's Civil Aviation Authority has approved a test that'll see a pilotless drone trusted to conduct its own little preset manifest, while around 50 miles away from its base of operations. Read More >>

Brexit Decision-Jam Blamed for Delaying Electric Scooter Rule Changes

One of Europe's many electric scooter hopefuls has said he's bored of hearing about Brexit all the time too, as the political paralysis the B-word has unleashed on the UK is holding up reform of our many Victorian-era public carriage laws. Read More >>

MPs Ask For Nationwide Ban on Pavement Car Parking

An isolated pocket of MPs having meetings that aren't about Brexit has had an idea, and would like to see the Department for Transport make our small town and village pavements more welcoming by banning the parking of cars atop them. Read More >>

Labour Lord Demands Number Plates for Cyclists

Lord Winston, who we recognise off 1980s telly for some reason, is thinking of launching a one-man war on cyclists, and is already writing letters to newspapers suggesting he may lead a campaign to make number plates on bikes – and maybe even mandatory insurance for cyclists – a thing that happens. Read More >>

Cars Sign Own Death Warrant With Plan For Automatic Speed Limiters

EU lawmakers have agreed on a plan to force the introduction of intelligent speed assistance systems in all new cars sold from the year 2022. It's a smart braking system that automatically slows cars when they hit speed limited areas, adding a new layer of boredom to journeys. Read More >>

Courts Rule Entirely Against Uber’s Casual Worker Employment Model

The UK courts seem to have ruled against the very existence of and core concept behind Uber, with the latest decision in the long-running set of legal cases over driver rights landing very firmly in favour of the workers. Read More >>

MPs Call For Entirely Unnecessary Ban on Eating Dogs

Apparently, it isn't technically illegal to eat dog meat in this country, a fact that shouldn't really need pointing out as it's honestly never really occurred to anyone. Dogs are for patting, walking, and social content generation, not stews. But the fact is being pointed out by international animal protection charities, so, always keen to enact the will of the people, our MPs are trying to make sure that the UK's dog-eating legal loophole is soon closed. Read More >>

Government Eyes Regulator for *Entire Internet*

Someone in the government has had a great idea for a job that could be given to Boris Johnson to do as a punishment -- make him the internet regulator. Imagine being the internet regulator. It'd be be like when something goes wrong with a massive pipe at an oil rig and the work experience boy is sent in with a set of hex keys and some masking tape to fix it. Read More >>

Police Are Going to Start Testing Drivers’ Eyesight by the Side of the Road

If you get pulled over by the police, generally speaking they'll make sure the car you're driving is yours, that you have got a valid licence, and in some cases they'll test to make sure you're not too drunk to be legally driving. Now, though, they may be checking to see if your eyesight is good enough, because if it's not they'll be taking your driving licence off you. Read More >>

Airbnb Told to Stop Smashing on Mystery Costs at the End

Room booking app operator Airbnb has been handed a big of list of things it needs to do better, with EU consumer commissioners warning it to stop hiding additional fees until the very end of the booking process, as that's a bit of a shady thing to do and has ruined many a dream of a cheap night somewhere bearable. Read More >>

Media MP Rules Out Screen-Time Laws for Kids

Law-facilitating culture node Matt Hancock MP has ruled out interfering with our current tablet and smartphone babysitting system, with the culture secretary saying there's no need for formal legislation to limit, or attempt to limit, the percentage of their lives that children fritter away watching braying cocks pretending to be excited about unwrapping a Twix on YouTube. Read More >>