The Internet Reacts to Pointless Burger That’s Half Meat and Half Plant-Based Protein

BrewDog craft brewery is in the business of craft beer, which some people out there find to be the purview of hipsters, and its not done itself any favours on that front with the latest addition to the menu. Read More >>

Rogue Scientists Tentatively Give the Sausage Diet the All Clear

A reanalysis of existing data covering the troughing of red meat says the benefits of cutting it out are extremely wafer thin, so much so that the demonisation of all things meaty and processed has perhaps gone way too far. Read More >>

Rogue Botanist Wants to Fill the UK With Meat-Eating Plants

Did you know we have carnivorous plants right here in the UK? Well we do, although they're dying out because of us, so maybe soon we won't have them any more. That's why some random botanist fellow is stepping up to the crease, as wants to repopulate our battered environments with his beloved but threatened insect-trapping flora. Read More >>

Thousands of Supermarket Chickens Killed by UK Heatwave

Thousands of chickens destined for the UK supermarkets died during last week's heatwave, as Tesco and Sainsbury's supplier Moy Park managed to let temperatures inside one of its poultry breeding facilities rise to deadly levels. Read More >>

Brazilian Chicken Destined for the UK Contaminated With Salmonella

Researchers investigating the Brazilian poultry production scene for fun or a podcast or something have warned on the stocks' high levels of the salmonella bug, with one million potentially infected birds thought to have hit the UK market over the last two years. Read More >>

Tesco Cuts Meat With Veg for Healthier Readymeals

Tesco has introduced a new form of foodstuff for the lazy or those looking to cut down on their meat intake without going completely cold pork, ham and turkey; minced meat products that have been diluted with chopped veg. Read More >>

Quorn Joins the Beetroot Blood Burger Trend

The people at Quorn, who must be a bit pissed off that meat alternatives are so popular now when they've been doing them for ages, is launching a newer, fatter, bloodier* burger for all the new vegans we have nowadays. Read More >>

Is it Time to Make Meat Obsolete?

Let’s face it, vegans can have a bad rep. To the majority of meat eaters, vegans conjure up images of insufferable, preachy, pale-skinned students who smell of B.O. and mushrooms. The types that wear organic hemp clothing that was crafted by Peace Lily back at the ashram, and they will thrust their gluten-free agave lentil biscuits at you to try and tempt you to hop the fence. Sadly, these tend to be drier than the Kalahari desert and have the flavour profile of plasterboard. Read More >>

MPs Call For Entirely Unnecessary Ban on Eating Dogs

Apparently, it isn't technically illegal to eat dog meat in this country, a fact that shouldn't really need pointing out as it's honestly never really occurred to anyone. Dogs are for patting, walking, and social content generation, not stews. But the fact is being pointed out by international animal protection charities, so, always keen to enact the will of the people, our MPs are trying to make sure that the UK's dog-eating legal loophole is soon closed. Read More >>

Scientists Stabbed Cactus Spines Into Meat to Study Evolution

One benefit of working at a university with an agricultural school is the availability of meat. That’s especially useful if you need something to stab cactus spines into. Read More >>

Australian Police Perform CPR on Drowning Kangaroo

I know very little about Australia, aside from the fact that it’s basically a weirder United States with a feral cat problem. But I’m familiar enough to know that Australian police resuscitating a drowning kangaroo with CPR at the beach is about as Australian as it gets. Read More >>

Asda Moves to Make a Giant Sausage the Centrepiece of Christmas

Look, right, the reason this is on a so-called tech site is because sausages are made by machines. I know this because Gregg did an Inside the Factory all about the making of sausages, and it was all stainless steel and surprisingly high-tech machinery churning out the beloved meat tubes. Hence Asda making a foot-long pig in a blanket is definitely tech news you need to know. Read More >>

Fake Stews: Sainsbury’s to Sell Vegan Meats Alongside the Animal Originals

Vegans are going to have more than the usual two things to choose from in the near future, as supermarket Sainsbury's is preparing to flood the food feeds of the UK with a new range of fake meats designed to be nearer to the taste and feel of the real thing. Read More >>

Morrisons Increases Breakfast Sausage Content by 50 Per Cent

The number of sausages you get with the new Morrisons cooked breakfast has defied current food industry shrinkage trends and increased, with the supermarket's newly launched Big Daddy breakfast option raising the sausage count from two to three. And they say the UK can no longer innovate. Read More >>

Snowbound Greggs Delivery Driver Hands Out Food to Trapped Motorists

A particularly British type of super hero was spotted at work on the sides of the snow-hit A1 just outside Berwick-upon-Tweed this week, where a Greggs delivery driver made the days of stranded motorists by opening up the back of his lorry and handing out the contents. It's like Christmas all over again. Read More >>