How Sperm ‘Swim’ May Be Nothing But an Optical Illusion

An international group of scientists say their latest research will upturn one of the earliest scientific discoveries ever made about human sperm. In a new paper published on Friday, they seem to show that sperm cells don’t propel themselves by simply flicking their tails back and forth, as is commonly believed. Rather, sperm perform a complex routine of three-dimensional rolling and spinning motions that only make them look like they’re lashing their tails when viewed through a typical microscope. Read More >>

Council Rules Santa Must Be a Man

An historic decision has been passed by Great Aycliffe Town Council's Recreation Committee, which has ruled that the role of Santa Claus, who is also known to operate under the street name of Father Christmas and various other international pseudonyms, must always be played by a man. Read More >>

Want to Keep Your Sperm Healthy? Stick to Boxers, Says Harvard Study

It’s long been thought that snug underwear can be bad for men’s semen quality, thanks to the warmer temperatures they can cause down below. And a new study out of Harvard University seems to confirm that suspicion. It found that men attending a fertility centre who regularly wore boxers had higher sperm counts and healthier sperm than everyone else. Read More >>

Cycling Doesn’t Knacker Your Knackers

A survey that examined the compressed and squeezed genitals of men who identify as cyclists has found that they're all one hundred per cent fine, with no sexual or urinary deficiencies noticed in people who wear special shorts and take pleasure from rubbing themselves on extremely hard seats. Read More >>

Your Shower Curtain is Making You Infertile

The chemicals that abound in today's modern fabrics, electronic devices and clothing are ruining the fertility of the men of the world, with researchers claiming as few as one in four of us may have good quality sperm – plus the average, er, volume we produce is down by a quarter since the 1940s. Let's compare! Read More >>

Actual Proper Scientists Say Watching Porn Makes You Better at Sex

Watching porn all the time is not necessarily the end of your useful life as a man, with new research suggesting that men who sneak off to use the computer for a furious few minutes with the speakers turned off may actually end up being better at real sex as a result. Read More >>

300,000 People Publicly Admit to Liking Jeremy Clarkson

Jeremy Clarkson has been polarising opinion again, and this time it's something more serious than if shirts should be tucked into jeans or not when you're quite fat. Read More >>

Docile Men Wanted to Satisfy Demands of Brazillian Women

The town of Noiva do Cordeiro in south-east Brazil is apparently so packed with women they're having to advertise for men to come and fulfil their needs -- and meet their list of behavioural demands. Read More >>

Men May Have Evolved Bigger Jaws to Survive Fights

Some of our early ancestors may have evolved their chunky brows and sturdy jaws not because of dietary or environmental reasons, but as a defence against the fists of rival men battling for that last tasty dinosaur burger or the affections of the hairiest lady in the village. Read More >>

Google is Home to the White Male Nerd Stereotype

Google has yielded to public pressure to reveal stats about the makeup of its employees, publishing the above chart showing just how white and male it is. It's the boys-only sixth-form computer club of the adult world. Read More >>

Grandad Choked to Death Before Wild Night With Prize Prostitutes

86-Year-Old Johnny Orris, from Illinois in the US, was entered into a competition by his grandson. The prize? Sex with two prostitutes in a Nevada brothel. Charming. If that's not strange enough, it's reported that Orris died shortly before the encounter, after choking to death on his pre-sex steak dinner. Read More >>

School Offering “Man Days” to Teach Fatherless Kids Basic Male Tasks

Suggesting the lack of a male role model in the lives of kids can act as a "barrier" to their educational and life progress, one Essex school is taking matters into its own hands by offering boys lessons in how to be more of a man. We hope they accept mature students. Read More >>

Enjoy a Meat Facial With Bacon Shaving Cream

You eyes do not deceive you, although your nose might get a bit confused by what the hell is going on. It's Bacon Shaving Cream, a grooming product for men who enjoy a lingering meaty residue. Read More >>

Would This New Urinal Design Make Men Wash Their Hands?

Here's a problem about guys: many of us don't wash our hands after using the toilet. It might be general grossness or everyman laziness or being too trusting your own hygiene or being too drunk or taking on a drive through mentality with a urinal but if you monitor a men's bathroom, you'll see many folks skip the sink. Read More >>

Are Modern Society’s Woes Caused by Angrier Lego Men?

The once cheerful little Lego men are suffering from some sort of modern angst, with a survey of the facial expressions of the little plastic people finding they're angrier and snarlier than they were in the olden days. Are they turning our kids into raging monsters? Read More >>