Culture Secretary Thumbs-Ups Bans on Phones in Schools

Headteachers across the country have just been given the nod to introduce their own local bans on smartphone use in schools, with culture secretary Matt Hancock saying he admires heads who've already risked teenage riots and an elevation in door slamming by restricting the bringing of gadgets to school. Read More >>

Ministry of Justice Demands Ban on Bumhole-Friendly Tiny Phones

The current justice secretary has called for the current generation of ultra small mobile phones to be banned, because, he thinks, they only exist so they can be smuggled into prisons within the body cavities of kindly visiting friends and relatives. Read More >>

Somerset Village Really Doesn’t Want a Phone Mast, Thanks

The small village of Compton Dundon in Somerset is really against the idea of having a phone mast erected in the area, as a mass of people with health issues and off-grid retreats would rather not have radio signals blasting through their healthier-than-thou bodies. Read More >>

How Long Have You Been With Your Mobile Network?

Carphone Warehouse says the average 18-30-year-old has been in a monogamous mobile phone contract with the same network for just over four years, as the pain of swapping and potentially not having a fun thing to look at for a few hours or days is too much to risk. What's your mobile relationship best? Read More >>

EastEnders Creates Own Plot Hole With Mobile Phone Number Gaffe

EastEnders, which used to be depressing but is now a lighthearted alternative to reality and news, made quite a silly mistake last week. A very modern mistake to do with mobile phones that wouldn't have happened on Coronation Street in the 1950s. Read More >>

Looks Like Huawei’s Still Doing the “Phone for Women” Thing

A new phone from Chinese smartphone establishment troubler Huawei is rumoured to be on the cards for next month's IFA tech event, and it's good to see that Huawei is finally addressing a huge problem that afflicts 50 per cent of our society -- it's making a smartphone that women will be able to use. Read More >>

Three is Expanding Feel At Home After the Summer Holidays End

Feel At Home, Three’s holiday service that lets you use your phone abroad without incurring those freakishly high roaming charges, is about to get better. Though it’s always been a major draw for me, as a fairly regular visitor of Germany I’ve always lamented its big, meaty, Deutschland-shaped hole. Read More >>

London’s Tube Bosses Plan Mobile Network Coverage

Transport for London is said to be in the process of chatting up a few networking providers, with the hope being one might take on the mammoth task of providing mobile phone coverage down the capital's deep transport pipes. Read More >>

Lenovo Teases a Return for the Motorola Razr Flipper

Lenovo, the current owner of tech hand-me-down Motorola, has released a cryptic video teaser for something or other, with initial analysis of the clunky historical music and imagery suggesting the return of the Razr brand. And there's the fact that everyone in it is using Razrs. Read More >>

Pornhub’s BangFit Stunt is Like Guitar Hero For Your Naughty Bits

Pornhub's still burning through the April Fool's day joke ideas list it came up with earlier in the year, today releasing a thing it calls BangFit -- a concept for a sports activity tracker for people who want their weekly bit of sex to be augmented by the inclusion of a mobile phone to track their heated, directional thrusts. Read More >>

BlackBerry Has Two More Android Models in its Lab Pipes

Well, this is a bit awkward. Previous rumours that BlackBerry was considering abandoning hardware making altogether -- or abandon having a company put its logo on things, at least -- would appear to be a bit wrong. Very wrong, in fact, as the company's CEO has said him and his people have a pair of mid-range Android devices on the way. Read More >>

Ofcom Demands Quicker Mobile Contract Switches

Communications regulator Ofcom has set its sights on clearing up the bewildering process of switching mobile phone providers, saying that 38 per cent of all switchers had some sort of problem when organising their last network change -- and it wants to make it easier. Read More >>

It’s 2016. So Why Are There Still ‘Smartphones for Women’ Being Made?

Get ready to puke up a bit if you're a woman who knows the difference between Huawei's Android UI skin and iOS, as one company thinks women are so technologically backwards and shallow that they'd like a mobile phone shaped like a makeup mirror. Read More >>

Samsung Doesn’t Seem Too Confident About Future Smartphone Sales

Tech heavyweight Samsung has just come off the back of a tough quarter, and it doesn’t sound particularly upbeat about future mobile sales. Though the South Korean firm’s mobile devices business recorded a profit growth, demand is slowing alarming quickly. Read More >>

What Might Samsung’s New Mobile Boss D.J. Koh Change?

Samsung's new mobile phone boss is a man called  D.J. Koh. Let's look him up on the internet and see if we can infer what sort of phones he'll be releasing in 2017, once his influences have had enough time to wash through the system. Read More >>