Tesla Shares Tank After Tearful Elon Musk Interview Freaks People Out

Tesla shares fell by more than 8 per cent on Friday morning as worries about an SEC investigation increased and CEO Elon Musk gave the New York Times an interview in which he discussed his mounting problems at the company. Despite everything, Musk says he’s just going to keep tweeting. Read More >>

Rod Stewart Finally Embarrassed by Leopard Skin Chair at Age 73

Rod Stewart's having a clear out of all the trappings of fame he's acquired over the past innumerable, interminable decades, with a local auction house about to shift a load of his unwanted classic and more gaudy modern furniture items, as he's moving house. Read More >>

Posh Dating Site Sued Over Lack of Rich Men

A woman who signed up to an exclusive dating site for the super-rich in the hope she might meet a nice man with loads of money and an Instagram chest was disappointed by the size and quality of the gene pool offered, so sued the company. She won, in yet another insult to the few men who made themselves available in 2013. Read More >>

Sad Middle-Age Lego and Alcohol Shrines in Shed of the Year Running

It's that time of the year when we celebrate men who can't stand being contained within the regulated bricks and mortar structure of their actual houses where their actual families might be, with the 2018 Shed of the Year contest rounding up a selection of the finest – as in, the stupidest and most indulgent – garden sheds in the country. Read More >>

Fat Post Boxes for Parcels Make Life Easier for eBayers

The Royal Mail is doing something new with post boxes. This could tear the nation apart worse than Brexit. It has created a super-fat-mouthed post box variant for parcels that's out on trial right now, and is designed to serve the significant proportion of the population that ekes out a living from posting out packages every day. Read More >>

Ticketmaster Closes its Reseller Sites

The modern pop culture hate crime of scalping people for gig tickets is about to get a little harder to pull off, with market leader Ticketmaster saying it's giving up on trying to make money on selling things twice by closing its resale portals. Read More >>

HS2 is Already Transporting Gravy to Staff Troughs

Outrage has been sparked by HS2, and it hasn't even got so far as cancelling services and laying on replacement buses for an entire bank holiday weekend. This outrage is to do with staff salaries, with data showing that a significant chunk of its current staff are already staggering under the weight of all the money they're taking home in the boots of their Audis. Read More >>

Lidl’s the Latest Supermarket to Offer Wonky Fruit and Veg Boxes, Only Wants £1.50 for 5kg

In the past supermarkets have been really picky about the quality of food they stock. Or rather, they only want the perfectly shaped blemish-free produce that looks pretty on the shelves. Unfortunately plants don't work that way and do come out in all sorts of wonky shapes. In a bid to cut down on waste a number of them have been offering 'wonky veg boxes' at a low price, in an attempt to get people buying and Lidl has just joined their ranks. Read More >>

Despite a Profit Increase, Amazon UK’s Tax Bill Dropped to £4.6 Million

Last year Amazon Services UK generated a £48 million profit and paid a measly £7.4 million in tax, which pissed off a lot of people. Those people are going to be furious this year, because the company was handed a tax bill of £4.6 million - despite profits rising to £80 million. That said it's only having to pay £1.7 million, with £2.9 million being deferred until a later date. Read More >>

Ofcom Wants Telecoms Companies to Warn You When Your Contract is Up

We've all signed up for some sort of telecoms contract in the past, whether it be for phone services, internet, or TV. You may also have noticed that these companies don't always tell you when your contract is up, not unless there's something else they can try to sell and get more money out of you. Now Ofcom's new proposals would make them change that practice. Read More >>

Money Vandal/Artist Strikes Again

Artist Graham Short, who kicked off a nationwide treasure hunt in 2016 when he etched a likeness of Jane Austen on the then-new polymer £5 notes, is at it again. He's used the last few weeks productively in etching a 5mm image of England footballer Harry Kane on six fivers, three of which are now in circulation and ready to be found. Read More >>

Belfast Wants to Buy 5,500 Bits of the Titanic Back

A consortium of UK museums is trying to buy back quite a large portion of the Titanic, with a huge collection of around 5,500 salvaged pieces of the ship and its possessions and interiors hopefully about to go up for sale – and eventually head back to Belfast. Read More >>

EE’s New ‘Flex Plans’ are Basically 30 Day Contracts With Some Extras

Most networks offer some sort of 30 day rolling contract, letting you sign up for a pay-monthly contract without actually having to commit to a particular network for more than 30 days at a time. EE is no different, but from tomorrow those 30 day plans are getting a name change. It's introducing new 'Flex Plans' which sound like regular rolling monthly contracts with some extras thrown in. Read More >>

Burberry Burns its Stupid Posh Coats so They Don’t End Up in Primark

New bonkers tales of waste within the fashion industry have emerged today, with analysis of stripy-thing maker Burberry's accounts showing that it torched around £28m worth of goods over the last year, in order to get slightly old and off-trend material out of the supply chain so it can sell marginally different variants of its coats to people who probably already have a perfectly decent coat. Read More >>

Kodak’s Crypto Experiment Dies Before a Single Imaginary Coin Was Mined

Kodak, or the people Kodak ill-advisedly allowed to use the Kodak brand in order to sell a weird cryptocurrency mining scheme, has given up before ever really getting started. Read More >>