Even Volunteers Don’t Want to Show Up for the Olympics

According to former International Olympic Committee president Jacques Rogge, volunteers are invaluable at the Games. “Volunteers are true Olympians. They transmit the true spirit of the Olympic Games,” Rogge said in 2012. Unfortunately, many volunteers this year appear to have ignored this and said “fuck it” instead. Read More >>

Officials Don’t Know Why the Olympic Diving Pool Turned Green (Also: Gross)

As the women’s synchronised diving teams took to the pool in Rio de Janeiro yesterday, they were greeted by a strange sight. The diving pool had turned green overnight, while the neighbouring water polo pool remained a crystal clear blue. This confused the Olympic organisers, media, and the internet profusely. Long story short: it’s most likely an algae bloom. Read More >>

Here Are Some Olympians Who Have Probably Eaten Poo

According to various reports, the water at multiple Olympic venues is pretty much full of shit. Unfortunately for three different rowers, they’ve now probably eaten that shit. Read More >>

star wars
New Rogue One Trailer Comes Out Thursday During Olympics

Count the minutes, folks: the newest trailer for Rogue One: A Star Wars Story debuts this Thursday during NBC’s coverage of the 2016 Rio Summer Games. When will it air? What will it contain? I wish I could tell you, young padawans, but we’ll just have to wait and see. Read More >>