animals
When Male Ducks Hang Out Together Their Penises Get Longer

Male ducks have some of the weirdest junk in nature—a ludicrously long, corkscrew-shaped member that evolved on account of an ongoing battle of the sexes. New research shows that the social environment in which the male duck finds himself in has a pronounced effect on the length of his penis, a finding that may finally put the “size matters” debate to rest. For ducks. Read More >>

science
Scientists Froze Some Grasshoppers Mid-Sex to Study Their Genitals

You might not know this, but we’re in the midst of an insect shape-studying renaissance. MicroCT technology—basically a lab version of the CAT scanners found at hospitals—is increasingly allowing scientists to produce detailed three-dimensional images without destroying samples. So naturally, if we’re scanning everything, we might as well scan grasshopper genitalia mid-fuck. Read More >>

sex
Humans Don’t Have Penis Bones Thanks to Getting Sex Done Quick

Scientists given the job of investigating the many and varied form of the penis bone think they've worked out why humans don't have one. It's because we want to get sex out of the way quickly so we can get back onto our mobile phones. Read More >>

health
Doctors Successfully Transplant Human Penis

A patient has happily "regained all functions" in his penis after having a new one transplanted on, following the removal of his original unit three years previously due to complications that arose from a botched circumcision. Read More >>

medicine
Beware Knockoff Penis Growing Herbal Supplements Laced With Viagra

The US FDA put out a warning this week that knockoffs of ExtenZe Maximum Strength have been found containing sildenafil — the active ingredient in Viagra and other ED prescriptions. Meaning hopeful pill poppers may have thought those "herbal supplements" were really kicking in, despite science having proven they just don't work. Read More >>

tv
BBC Apologises for Screening Blasphemous Defacing of Future King

The BBC has been forced to apologise for offending a handful of royalists, after a photograph of the Duke of Cambridge was tampered with by sick so-called comedians who drew a crude image of a penis onto his royal head and got BBC's Breakfast show to broadcast it. Read More >>

collection
11 Ways to Make Foods Shaped Like Penises

Popsicles. Corndogs. Shish kabaobs. There are, you know, options. But sometimes, imagery just doesn't cut it. Here are eleven ways to put penis on the table. Read More >>