war
The Crown Jewels Were Hidden From the Nazis in the Most British Place Imaginable

The keepers of the royal things were a little worried about all the important crowns and stuff going missing or getting bombed during the second world war, hence the most important elements of the Crown Jewels were taken from their position in the Tower of London and hidden away. Read More >>

robots
The Queen Seemingly Approves of Automated Bomb Disposal Robot

The Queen and her hand-shaking robot friend the Duke of Edinburgh met with another service robot yesterday, one designed to assist police in defusing and detonating suspicious packages. Read More >>

crime
The Queen’s Hiding Her Ivory Stash

The Queen's so old now that she can remember back to the days when it was considered the norm to pop off to Africa or India for a month and come home laden with skins, horns, tusks, shrunken heads, dried-out penises, a handful of fresh slaves and all manner of other exotic collectibles, hence there's quite a bit of dodgy material lurking in the royal collection. Read More >>

social media
Tweet for the Queen, and £30k a Year

If you think you can grit your teeth hard enough to say nice things about the monarchy all day, here's a nice job -- a temporary Digital Communications Officer on behalf of the royal lot. You get £30k a year for blogging about matters to do with royalty and news about royalty, while keeping your political feelings to nothing more than occasionally spelling out rude words using the first letter of each paragraph. Read More >>

music
Queen Beats Abba to Top UK’s All Time Album Sales Chart

The tracker of UK record sales has released data covering the country's entire history of album numbers, revealing that Queen, Abba and the Beatles are unsurprisingly what most people buy and listen to all the time. Adele's the youngest upcomer, with her 21 earning the fourth place in the UK's all time album sales listings. Read More >>

virtual reality
Queen’s Guitarist Wants You to Use His Plastic Smartphone VR System

Brian May is many things: lead guitarist of Queen, lover of badgers, and astrophysicist. Now, add VR guru to the list, because he’s just announced his very own version of Google Cardboard Read More >>

transport
Queen Announces UK Push for Autonomous Cars, Drones and Spaceports

Every year, the Queen gives a speech about what the government will focus its attentions on over the coming twelve months. Today, she explained that, among other things, she wants the country to focus on autonomous cars and drones. Read More >>

wtf
The BT Tower Went up in Digital Flames for the Queen’s 90th and Scared Everyone

To celebrate the Queen’s big 90th bash yesterday, Camden Council decided to transform the BT Tower into a giant candle of sorts, by projecting flames onto the screen at the top. As you can see from the pictures, it looked a bit rubbish, and everyone knows the Queen’s nowhere near tall enough to even pretend to blow them out. Read More >>

politics
Jamaica Debates Binning the Queen and Legalising Weed

The new political regime in Jamaica has its eyes on some pretty major shakeups, most notably a plan to ditch the Queen as its head of state and turn itself into a modern republic. Read More >>

money
Free £5 Coins For Anyone Who Shares Their 90th Birthday With the Queen

To celebrate the Queen’s big 90th piss-up, the Royal Mint has unveiled a commemorative £5 coin designed by artist and sculptor Christopher Hobbs. The coin, which is marked with nine roses and, of course, a portrait of Queen Elizabeth II, is available from the Royal Mint’s website, and not for a fiver. Read More >>

booze
Celebrate The Queen’s Birthday With Two Extra Hours of Pub Time

English and Welsh pubs will be opening late as part of the Queen’s 90th birthday celebrations this summer, with the government deciding that staying out a bit later than usual and squeezing in an extra three pints might be exactly how the nation is planning to celebrate the joyous occasion. Read More >>

transport
Crossrail to be Royally Renamed the “Elizabeth Line” – After the Signs Have Already Gone Up

She's already got the Jubilee Line on the tube named after her, and now the Queen is set to lend her name to another of London's public transport lines. The Crossrail train connection is to be renamed the "Elizabeth Line" when its service begins in five years time. Cue jokes about it taking 70 years to be ready and costing the taxpayer a fortune. Read More >>

VR
You Can Be The Queen! (For Nine Minutes, Through VR)

Google and The Queen and YouTube have all come together for the good of the citizens of the UK, granting us a look at the insides and carpets of Buckingham Palace. Read More >>

money
Pay £150 to Have Lunch in the Vicinity of the Queen in Our Deal of NO DAYS

A street party in The Mall is being planned to celebrate the Queen's 90th birthday, only it's not going to be the sort of all-inclusive modern affair your might expect -- it's more of a 15th century style private banquet for the rich. If any poor people stray in, they're likely to be spit-roasted and eaten by gout-ridden executives. Read More >>

money
Smartly Redesigned British Bank Notes Champion the NHS, Science and the BBC

A pair of designers have revamped the UK's bank notes, breathing new life into the fiver, tenner, £20 note and £50 note. Oscar Daws and Matthew Turbin, who recently graduated from Brunel University, wanted to create ‘more relevant’ designs that would keep everyone in the UK happy. Quite a task in this age of constant whingeing. Read More >>