Coventry Pothole Can’t Shaft Residents Thanks to One Giant Prick

If the council isn't going to give a fuck about the potholes, then someone else will. And that someone is decorating them with giant, spurting cocks. Read More >>

OS to Start Logging Lamp Posts for Potential Driverless Databases

The Ordnance Survey is branching out into logging all of our many and various forms of roadside furniture, with the idea being that knowing where every lamp post and manhole cover is may one day be a data goldmine essential to the operation of the autonomous auto fleets of the future. Read More >>

400 Miles of Hard Shoulder is Going as We Move to “Digital Roads”

"Digital road" is the equally stupid new way of referring to what has been known as the "smart motorway" for a few years, and we're getting more of them. 400 miles more of them, in fact, as statistics say the removal of hard shoulders and the installation of special refuge areas for breaking cars has been a success. Or at least not a disaster. Read More >>

Attention Instagrammers: 3D Zebra Crossing Arrives in London

Westminster City Council is trying something new with the paint and the roads and the pedestrian crossings in west London, which is already home to a famous bit of road paint as once walked across by the Beatles. The city now has one of the fancy new 3D zebra crossings (as seen elsewhere), designed to freak drivers out into thinking their exhaust pipes are about to be ripped off by a shed lorry load of concrete lintels. Read More >>

MPs Want “Smart” Motorway Upgrades Suspended

MPs are asking for a halt on the introduction of the modern British "smart" motorway, which often sees the hard shoulders of our traffic arteries turned into controlled additional lanes to keep traffic flowing. This is not particularly smart for anyone who suffers a breakdown and borders on the dangerous, they say. Read More >>

This Isn’t Just Any Contraflow on the M8

The government is said to be thinking about bringing a weird US roadside sponsorship system to the UK, in which stretches of motorway are sponsored by big businesses in return for some of their advertising money. Read More >>

star wars
Council Declares War on Local Imperial Scout Walker

Teignbridge District Council is fighting its own little war against rogue Imperial forces, as it's demanded that a keen Star Wars enthusiast removes a full-size model of an Imperial scout walker from land beside the A38. The Angel of the South West it is not. Read More >>

Learner Drivers Need Testing on Hole Spotting, Says the AA

Our roads are in such a state that the learner driver process needs adapting to take all the potholes into account, according to the AA, which thinks that spotting and panic-avoiding holes in the road ought to be added to the hazard perception part of the driving test, alongside the classic children/ice cream van Kobayashi Maru situation and the guidelines on how to best overtake the modern cycling warriors. Read More >>

4mph Robot Traffic Cones Could Jazz up the Roadworks of the Future

An infrastructure specialist thinks it might be able to technology-away the problem of roadworks, by rolling out – haha yes literally rolling them out on wheels – a fleet of self-driving traffic cones. Read More >>

Council Leaves Bell End Alone

It looks like the people who live on Bell End will have to put up with passers-by taking gurning photos beside the road sign for the foreseeable future, as the council has confirmed there's been a definite win in the public battle to change the road name -- and Bell End has won out. Read More >>

People in Suffolk Aren’t Taking Badger Damage Seriously Enough

Badgers are the latest thing causing chaos and destruction out there on the roads, with one stretch of tarmac in the Suffolk village of Somersham so undermined by their tunneling activities that stretches of the road have been closed. Read More >>

24,000 Mile of Roads Need Their Potholes Filling

It's not just you and your neighbours that feel like their part of the world is falling apart due to the spread of potholes — it's everyone, everywhere. That's what the fantastically named Asphalt Industry Alliance says, which has surveyed all of our councils and found that some 24,000 miles of road need fixing up after the winter peeled the layers of tarmac away like rotten onion skin. Read More >>

Bus Tours of Roadworks and Building Sites Offered to Make People Want to be Builders

Do you think you have what it takes to engage in banter on a building site? If so, you might be interested in a promotion the government is running at the moment, where members of the public can tour building sites and infrastructure projects to get some sort of idea of what the work entails. Read More >>

Government to Spend Three Years Working Out Who the Driver is in a Driverless Car

The government is about to give a group of people a nice easy, fun bit of legal negotiating to do, as it prepares to launch a three-year rethink of driving laws in preparation for the self-driving car boom that everyone assumes is coming because the tech companies all say it is. Read More >>

It’s OK, They’re Putting Some Grass Over the Stonehenge Tunnel

Highways England has shown its first design illustration of how the massive tunnel underneath the fringes of the Stonehenge site may look, with the consultation attempting to appease anti-roads protesters by making the possible tunnels, cuttings and intersections look all lovely and green. Read More >>