history
The Sea Equivalent of Time Team Thinks it’s Found HMS Endeavour

HMS Endeavour, Captain James Cook's old boat that he famously used to discover a few places that already existed, has apparently been found after spending nearly 250 years lost at the bottom of the sea. Read More >>

environment
Experts Identify New Thing to Worry About Being Destroyed by

Scientists who spend their days and grant money expense allowances in rural B&Bs looking for bits of rock that don't fit in with other bits of rock in the area have thrilling news for anyone welcoming an apocalypse as a way to end today's troubles. They think we're more likely to be literally wiped off the map by a mega-tsunami than previously thought. Bring it on, sea gods. Wash the pain away. I'm already wearing my trunks. Read More >>

environment
Engineers Develop Quieter Massive Sea Hammer to Protect Fish Ears

Apparently marine noise pollution is a thing nowadays, because us humans need to always be smashing something into somewhere it don't belong, even at the bottom of the sea. This disturbs sea life, causing seahorses to bolt and fish to swim away to somewhere nicer, like the Faroe Islands. Hence a new generation of more sensitive massive undersea hammer is required. Read More >>

environment
Hope You Remembered to Stock up on Microbeads

If you have come to rely on the soothing, massaging sensation that is scrubbing yourself with microbead-containing beauty products, today is a sad day – products containing them are now banned from sale in the UK. Read More >>

environment
Microsoft’s Data Centre Willingly Gets in the Sea

Microsoft is doing a small token thing to make it look like it's trying hard to be environmentally sound, with the tech giant sinking a data centre into the sea off the cost of the Orkney islands to examine the benefits of using the ocean to keep its servers cool. Read More >>

disaster
Paddle Steamer Sinks on Way to new Owner

Something sad but also a bit funny has happened out at sea, where historically important paddle steamer MV Oliver Cromwell managed to sink while on a delivery run to its new owner. The poor old steamer's embarrassment was increased thanks to an embedded photographer on the RNLI boat sent out to watch it go down, capturing its sinking and exposed arse. Read More >>

environment
Government Considers Banning Wet Wipes to Save the Sewers

The government is thinking about adding wet wipes to the list of bad things we can't be trusted to have, use, or dispose of properly, as such single-use, non-biodegradable products are currently on the hit list due to containing the modern scourge of the planet, plastic. Read More >>

toys
Playmobil Atlantic Crossing Attempt Reaches Barbados

A dad threw his children's Playmobil pirate ship in the sea. We've all been there, but this was not in a rage about the stupid noises it makes; the toy ship is off on a journey of discovery. Read More >>

environment
The Sea’s Waves Are Getting Higher

The sea is getting angry about all these straws and cup lids we keep flushing into it, it seems, as researchers measuring the height of Atlantic waves have found that they've been getting higher for years. Read More >>

food
Hang On, Cod Might be Doomed Again

Just when we thought it was safe to eat the nice types of fish in the chip shop again instead of the flabby soggy ones Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall says are acceptable, our lovely cod is back on the danger list. Read More >>

BBC
A Little Bit of Blue Planet II Was Filmed in Fish Tanks

The BBC is looking to head off controversy about the forthcoming natural history showcase Blue Planet II by openly admitting before transmission that a few sequences were filmed in glorified fish tanks. Read More >>

animals
Buddhists Fined for Freeing Lobsters in Brighton

A group of well-meaning buddhists have been fined a total of £28,000 for misguidedly trying to do something nice, after they bought up a pile of live lobsters destined for the catering industry and set them free in the sea off the coast of Brighton. Read More >>

dating
Man Spams Welsh Beach With Love Messages

Craig Sullivan had an idea about how to find himself a new partner. Instead of trawling dating apps or dogging in motorway service stations he decided on the more romantic option of sending out 2,000 messages in bottles, chucking them in the sea to see if, somehow, his ideal woman might open one up and respond to his appeal for a date. Read More >>

health
Keep Calm and Float on if You Fall in the Sea

Flailing about and shouting for help while trying to hold your phone above the surface of the water is exactly what you should not do if you fall in the sea according to the RNLI, which says that if you accidentally plop off the end of a pier you should try to stay calm and concentrate on serenely floating for a while. Read More >>

travel
Tours to the Titanic Offered for £86,000

A travel company says it has the technology to take people on romantic mini breaks around the wreck of the Titanic, with the asking price of just £86,000 per ticket making it the ideal Father's Day gift for the tech executive that's not quite rich enough to make it to the moon. Read More >>