Tesco Has Begun the First Layoffs of the 45,000 Temp Workers Hired to Deal With the Pandemic

Now that everyone is seemingly calming down when it comes to grocery shopping, Tesco is finding that it doesn't need all of those temp workers it took on when shelves were being stripped bare and online orders were escalating wildly, so it's beginning layoffs, which isn't going down well with everyone. Read More >>

Tesco Rolls out New Car Park Rules to Facilitate Social Distancing Measures

Tesco is rolling out new measures to protect customers while they wait for access to the supermarket to prevent dillydallying in the car park. Read More >>

Lockdown Has Seen Households Revert Back to a Big Weekly Shop Says Tesco Boss

It seems that a weekly shop is all the rage now that people can only leave the house for essential items, with Tesco chief executive, Dave Lewis, reporting that the number of transactions for April was down by almost 50 per cent, but the average basket size was up 50 per cent. Read More >>

Tesco Tells Customers to Get Their Arses Down to Their Local Store If They Want Their Groceries

Tesco is telling its customers to get their butts to stores if they want groceries during the coronapocalypse because online shopping for home delivery is still crazy. Read More >>

Tesco 24 Hour Stores Are Cutting Back Opening Hours Starting Today

Tesco has announced that it'll be reducing the opening hours of its 24 hour stores because you animals won't stop hoarding shit, like you're toilet paper-loving dragons. Read More >>

Tesco Forced to Put Cap on Essential Items Amidst Coronavirus Panic Buying

Everyone knows that the first rule in any emergency is to get down to the local supermarket and buy an obscene amount of toilet paper and canned goods, ideally clearing the shelves so that no one else can get a look in. And everyone is doing a spectacular job of of it. Read More >>

Tesco Initiates War With Aldi and Promises to Price Match Hundreds of Items

Tesco is about to rewrite the rules of big brand engagement by saying the name of a competitor and admitting other supermarkets exist, as it's targeting one of the German discounter linchpins with its new "Aldi Price Match" guarantee. Read More >>

Tesco Mobile Has Launched 5G, With Prices From £15 a Month

5G is here, and it's the next big thing if all the networks and 5G-centric companies are to be believed. So you need to sign up for a 5G contract, especially if 5G has already rolled out to your local area. And Tesco Mobile has just joined the fray. Read More >>

Tesco’s Introducing Plasters in More Skintones

Tesco has announced it'll be the first supermarket in the UK to introduce plasters in diverse skintones. How this took until 2020 is beyond us, but good on them for finally making it happen. Read More >>

Don’t Forget Your Boring Clubcard Vouchers

Sorry, this is really boring but you might thank us for it when you come home from the supermarket with what amounts to a free dinner tonight, as Tesco has issued a reminder to the nation about the millions of pounds' worth of Clubcard vouchers and points everyone has but may have forgotten about – and expire at the end of the month. Read More >>

Tesco Says its Finest Meal Deal is Just as Good as Restaurant Food, Which Will be a Popular Excuse Come Valentine’s Day

There's a lot of pressure applied to Valentine's Day, especially if you're the man and your partner is a woman. The pressure is definitely on to go out for a nice meal, especially if you're a rubbish cook, where they will try and force you to pick the special Valentine's Day menu that served food that doesn't seem as nice as the regular menu but costs twice as much for no discernable reason. Read More >>

Tesco Frees the Baked Beans Multipack from Plastic Wrap

Tesco's food packaging scientists have come up with a new method of holding four cans together – the power of the mind. Instead of holding four cans of beans together with plastic, it'll only sell tins individually from now on, encouraging users to buy four of them for a discount via signs and whatnot instead. Who decided beans should only be bought four at a time anyway? Read More >>

Tesco Expands Its Plant-Based Food Range This Veganuary

Tesco has bolstered its Plant Chef and Wicked Kitchen ranges with 24 new products. Read More >>

Tesco’s Christmas Ad Causes a Stir Before It Even Airs

It turns out that popping a van on the roof of a house garners a bit of attention. Read More >>

Black Friday
Black Friday Comes Early at Tesco Mobile With Exclusive Weekly Deals

Throughout November, you can find weekly deals at Tesco Mobile on Samsung, Huawei, and Apple phones. Read More >>