transport
Totally Guessable Crossrail Delay News Says “December 2022” For Full Opening

It might be a good idea if someone dresses up in hi-vis and investigates whether Crossrail has actually dug any new tunnels under London at all, as a new delay to the opening of the full line has been revealed; this time involving the very end of December 2022. So 2023, then. At least. Read More >>

stunts
Attention Sex Pests: No Trousers Tube Ride Returns for 2020

People who identify as A Bit Bonkers will be heading to London to demonstrate their wacky ways to the public next weekend, as the 11th annual No Trousers Tube Ride returns on January 12. Read More >>

apple
Apple Pay Made More Socially Acceptable at London’s Underground Barriers

People using Apple Pay at the ticket barriers of the London Underground will no longer be hated for all eternity by those behind them in the queue, as an update to Apple Pay and the official endorsement of Transport for London has unlocked the system's Express Mode for all commuters. Read More >>

transport
Tube Drivers Plan Go-Slow Protest Over Noise Levels

A potentially never-ending rolling semi-strike is about to hit several of London's tube lines, with drivers running the Jubilee, Central, Northern and Victoria lines set to limit their top speeds to pressure bosses to do something about the track noise levels they experience while shuttling about the city's tunnels. Read More >>

transport
Randoms Demand London’s Northern Line Actually Serves the North

Some funny person with access to enough money to get stuff printed up for a laugh has launched a protest on the London underground, where stickers have been appearing requesting that the city's Northern line tube service is extended so that it hits the actual north of the whole country, not just a narrow section of the north of London. Read More >>

transport
Yorkshiremen Will Build London’s Next-Gen Tube Trains

London's long-running plan to upgrade part of the Underground fleet has taken a big step into actually happening, with Transport for London announcing that it's going ahead with the ordering of 94 all-new next-gen tube trains – to be built by Siemens in East Yorkshire. Read More >>

transport
Sadiq Khan Declares Driverless Tube Trains “Madness”

In a move that will no doubt make him very popular with the transport unions, Sadiq Khan has spoken out against the idea of driverless trains on the London Underground. Apparently that idea is "madness". Read More >>

transport
London Underground Announcements are to go Gender Neutral

Announcements on the London Underground are about to get a bit more vague, with staff told to ditch the "ladies and gentleman" phrase when addressing travellers as some people, it turns out, are a bit of both. We know, we've seen the pornography. Read More >>

transport
London Tube Accidents Reached New High Of 4,928 In 2016

TfL has reported that accidents on the London Underground are up 11% on 2015, with nearly 5000 reported incidents. The one bright spot is that customers seem to be falling into the gap less, with 282 people not heeding the words of the intercom - down from 293 in 2015. Read More >>

transport
London Commute Map Shows How People Pay for Easier Rides to Work

Someone's mashed up the tube map again, this time adjusting its lines and stations to demonstrate the extra rent paid by people in exchange for living nearer the middle bit or on a more direct route. The results will make you laugh a bit if you live in Scotland or Wales. Read More >>

transport
What’s Gone So Wrong With the Piccadilly Line?

Take a look at the Piccadilly line Twitter page, and you’ll see a depressing, seemingly endless stream of updates reporting delays, repairs and a shortage of trains. Scroll down (further, no further, keep going) and you’ll eventually come across this: Read More >>

apps
Do You Know Your Marble Arch From Your Bromley-by-Bow?

A new app testing your knowledge of London tube stations has popped up on your mainstream app stores, promising to test your understanding -- or caring -- about London's Underground infrastructure. Read More >>

transport
TfL Wants to Know Where and When You Connect to its Wi-Fi Network

Transport for London has worked out how to collect the sweet, sweet data advertisers are always gagging for without bringing the Underground to a literal standstill, and is set to kick off a Wi-Fi connection data-gathering trial next week. Read More >>

security
Code Two, Someone’s Done a Poo (on the London Underground)

Baffling coded announcements on transport systems often have us wondering what they really mean, and now we know. Lists have been compiled and, rather appropriately, a call out for someone to deal with a "code two" on the Underground means it's time for some unlucky cleaner to fetch the bucket and wipe someone's toilet off the platform, seats or stairs. Read More >>

transport
Signal You’re a Clingy Over-sharing Weirdo With a “Tube Chat” Badge

London is recoiling in horror at the latest idea to try to get people on the Underground to be nice to each other, with attempts to get commuters to wear "Tube Chat" badges and signal they're up for a conversation going down about as well with the population as that time the Nazis flew in all those bombs. Read More >>