Morrisons Transforms into Christmas Food Bank But Only for Carrots

A bunch of idiots may be preparing to list masses of wonky carrots for sale on eBay, as supermarket Morrisons is about to give them away for nothing under the pretence that there may be a sleigh manned by reindeer parked on the roof of your duplex in a week and a bit. Read More >>

Morrisons Begins Selling Mystery Loot Boxes of Unsold Foods for £3

Morrisons supermarket has come up with another idea for a way to shift miscellaneous unsold vegetables getting perilously near their best before dates; bundling them up in boxes with other, more tempting products and selling the lot off for £3. Read More >>

2019’s Hardcore Weather is Too Much for the Cauliflowers

Gardeners both amateur and professional are bemoaning the state of their brassicas this summer, as the rain and heat and general climatic madness have combined to make conditions intolerable for the nation's stock of cauliflower plants. Read More >>

Morrisons Introduces the Wonky Brussels Sprout Stalk

The hated Brussels sprout is about to become a marginally harder sell this Christmas, thanks to supermarket Morrisons adding slightly wonky stalks of the miniature brassica to its Christmas range. The good news is it costs just 75p for an entire, slightly off alignment stalk of the little round vegetable. Read More >>

Tesco Will Leave it to You to Decide if That Carrot Can be Salvaged

Tesco has decided we are all grown up enough to be trusted with something, and is about to remove the "best before" dates from a wide range of the fruit and veg it sells; with the ambition of further reducing food waste. Read More >>

Don’t Cool Down by Eating Frozen Supermarket Vegetables

The latest food scandal to hit the UK involves supposed nutritional good guys the vegetables, who, instead of being nice and giving us vitamins and fibre, are currently also delivering potentially fatal listeria infections to our overwhelmed freezer compartments. Read More >>

Unexploded WWII Bomb Actually a Courgette

An old German man started having war flashbacks last week, when he found what appeared to be an unexploded WWII bomb in his vegetable patch. He called in the police and everything, who attended his house in Betten, in the Baden-Württemberg region to investigate. Read More >>

Sainsbury’s Experiment Tries to Wean us Off Meat

A team of researchers from Oxford University is heading off to Sainsbury's to do more than hunt for discounted doughnuts late at night -- they want to change the eating habits of the nation by putting vegetables next to the sausages in the hope that people might choose the healthier option every once in a while. Read More >>

“Pumpkin Crisis” Could be Solved by Turnips

A disastrous UK pumpkin harvest brought about by a soggy August that literally rotted the poor things away in fields could cause shortages of the carve-it-yourself vegetable this year, but it's OK. Naturalists suggest unusually large turnips might make a good alternative. Read More >>

McDonald’s Attempted to Create Bubblegum Flavoured Broccoli for… Kids

The boss of McDonald's has given us an insight into the sort of GOD-PLAYING HELL that goes on inside its laboratories, revealing that a bubblegum flavoured type of broccoli was under development for a time. Read More >>

Japanese Soup Artists Create Fukushima Radioactive Veg Broth

An edible art piece calling itself Does This Soup Taste Ambivalent? will appear at this year's Frieze Art Fair in London, challenging attendees to eat a soup made from veg grown within the Fukushima nuclear trouble spot. Apparently safe to eat, the soup wants to attack the "psychological barrier" that's now attached to anything associated with Fukushima. [Independent] Read More >>

Five-a-Day Veg Ruling Upheld by International Study

Scientists are now saying completely the opposite to the thing they said a few months ago, with a new study suggesting that eating more than the recommended five bits of non-processed organic matter a day might have no extra effect on our wellbeing. Read More >>

This Lettuce Umbrella Should Count as a Serving of Veggies

If the thought of putting anything green in your mouth leaves you gagging, this adorable and remarkably life-like lettuce umbrella might help slowly acclimate you to accepting vegetables into your life. And it probably goes without saying that it will keep you dry as well. Read More >>

You’ve Been Lied to About Carrots Your Whole Life Because of Nazis

You've probably heard the myth that eating lots of carrots will make magically improve your vision. The bad news is that it's a total lie. The good news? It's one that helped the Allies defeat the Nazis. Read More >>