Welsh Boozers Face Breath Tests Before Being Allowed to Buy More

People trying to buy more booze in Cardiff might find themselves being asked to blow into something unusual before they're served, with a handful of shops in the worst alcohol-apocalypse-hit parts of the town centre using breathalysers to check their shoppers' drunkenness levels first. Read More >>

Welsh Sex Robot Needs a Head Manufacturer

Samantha, the sex robot from Wales that set the internet on fire recently (but you can call yours Rita if you want), is nearing production. The only thing holding it back is a head. They spent so much time on the tits and arse that everyone forgot women also have heads. It's the perfect 2017 metaphor. Read More >>

Dozens of Octopuses Crawl Ashore Along Welsh Coast: ‘It Was a Bit Like an End of Days Scenario’

For three consecutive nights, troves of octopuses have been seen walking out of the sea and stranding themselves along several beaches in Wales. Experts say the unusual behaviour may have something to do with recent storms that swept through the region. Read More >>

Mobile Networks Might Pay Lower Rates, to Encourage Them to Improve Signal in Wales

In an attempt to get mobile networks to improve their infrastructure, and thus improve signal for everyone, the Welsh government is considering cutting rates to give networks more money to invest. Read More >>

Man Spams Welsh Beach With Love Messages

Craig Sullivan had an idea about how to find himself a new partner. Instead of trawling dating apps or dogging in motorway service stations he decided on the more romantic option of sending out 2,000 messages in bottles, chucking them in the sea to see if, somehow, his ideal woman might open one up and respond to his appeal for a date. Read More >>

Welsh Jellyfish Collagen is the Next Big Thing in Medicine

Jellagen is the fantastic name for a new biotech company based in Cardiff, with the business setting up specifically to source collagen for human medicines and treatments from jellyfish. Hence they had a meeting and came up with Jellagen, a much more descriptive name than Collafish. Read More >>

England, Wales and Scotland Get Their Own Flag Emoji

A Cheeto is President of the US, the UK has decided to divide itself in two while continually arguing with itself, and we have newspapers that lie with impunity to push the agendas of their billionaire owners. But never mind, the Welsh dragon now has its own emoji. Read More >>

‘Land of Legends’ Will Make You See Wales In A Whole New Light

Tourism websites are usually a pretty cringey affair, with slogans straight from the 80s and stock photos of people enjoying themselves on generic beaches. The new one for Wales, though, doesn't have any of that – it's got a distinctly neckbeardy flavour. And we love it. Read More >>

Cardiff Might Have a Nice Bit Soon

Welsh planners have approved a massive enhancement of the fringes of Cardiff, with a plan to build nearly 6,000 new homes given the go-ahead. Read More >>

BBC Wales Mildly Offends the English

A BBC Wales advert for its coverage of the Wales v England rugby match has been pulled, after the Global Taking Offense Police took offense and decided it was not politically correct enough to exist in today's hypersensitive world. Read More >>

Wales Moves Towards Total Ban on Smacking

The children's commissioner for Wales has come out strongly against the smacking of children, as you might expect, even though changing the Wi-Fi password and putting the biscuits out of view are by far the more damaging and hurtful forms of punishment in use today. Read More >>

Wales Prepares to Go it Alone on Taxes for the First Time in 800 Years

The Welsh Assembly is making its poor members read a 220-page document all about property tax, as Welsh authorities push ahead with a plan to ditch stamp duty on property sales and replace it with a new tax. A tax that'll stay in Wales and become part of their budget to do with as they please. Read More >>

New App-based Mobile Network Targets Only the Welsh

A new mobile network powered by the underlying tech of Three has arrived to aim itself only at patriotic Welsh users, with RWG Mobile offering free calls to other users on the same network, Wi-Fi calling and 4G data connectivity, plus all the usual voicemail and privacy features you'd expect from any existing non-Welsh operator. Read More >>

Welsh Bees Attack Car That Drives Off With Their Queen

Bees are dying at an incredible rate, and we’re all screwed because of it. But instead of thinking about all that doom and gloom, why not take a look at these photos of a massive swarm stuck to some poor woman’s car in Wales and thank your lucky stars it wasn’t yours. Read More >>

Council Tax Rises Coming to Band D Houses

The average middle-of-the-road house in Wales will end up costing its residents an extra £47 a month from April of this year, as council tax rises kick in and everyone has to contribute a little bit more to help pay for the bins, schools, street lights, council IT departments and so on. Read More >>