Nice Guy Julian Assange Says WikiLeaks Will Help Tech Companies Deal With the CIA

It’s easy to call Julian Assange a big, bratty man-baby. Much to the world’s dismay, however, the WikiLeaks founder is doing things a little bit differently with his recent disclosure of CIA hacking documents. Assange is actually being kind of helpful. Read More >>

Is This the CIA’s Most Shocking Hacker Tool Yet?

Even though the news is only a few hours old, some are already starting to wonder if the big WikiLeaks release of CIA hacking documents revealed anything “technically surprising.” Well, how about this: CIA hackers are obscenely well-versed in Japanese one-line ACSCII art. Read More >>

WikiLeaks Just Dumped a Ton of Alleged CIA Hacking Documents

Here we go again, gumshoes. WikiLeaks (read: Julian Assange) says it acquired a massive cache of CIA documents related to the agency’s cyberwar efforts. The information therein, WikiLeaks claims, reveals covert CIA hacking tools that can take over iPhones, Android phones, TVs, and pretty much any type of computer. It’s scary stuff—if you believe what WikiLeaks is saying is true. Read More >>

Four Months Later, Julian Assange Still Isn’t Dead

Ecuador’s foremost pain in the arse can finally stop tweeting in the third person as @Wikileaks, as he’s been doing since 2008. Lets give a hearty (if perplexed) congrats to Julian Assange for “joining” Twitter. Read More >>

Ecuador Can’t Wait for Adult Son Julian Assange to Move Out

Ecuador is extremely ready for its adult son and growing annoyance, WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange, to move of out of the country’s London embassy — as soon as possible. Read More >>

Julian Assange Says Chelsea Manning Was Granted Clemency To Make Assange Look Like a Liar

Julian Assange has shown himself to be a huge fucking idiot over and over again. But he really outdid himself this time, all while screaming “I’m not an idiot!” on Australian TV yesterday. Read More >>

Wikileaks Suddenly Wants to Vet This ‘Donald Trump’ Guy

After Wikileaks spent most of the election focusing on revealing emails from Hillary Clinton and her constituents, the organisation has taken a sudden interest in the guy who now sits in the oval office. On Sunday, the Julian Assange-led organisation invited its followers to leak Trump’s tax returns to them—which Kellyanne Conway confirmed the administration would not release the documents on ABC’s “This Week.” Read More >>

Julian Assange Backpedals on Extradition Promise in Record Time

As we reported this morning, Julian Assange appeared ready to make good on a promise to extradite himself to the United States—a country which has not publicly charged him with any crimes—following clemency for Chelsea Manning. Less than 24 hours later, Wikileaks’s bullshitter-in-chief is weaselling out of a deal no one asked him to make. Read More >>

Julian Assange Doubles Down on Dumbass Promise to Turn Himself In

The news that President Obama has commuted Chelsea Manning’s sentence—with her release slated for May of this year instead of 2045—is a huge relief to many. A major exception to that is Julian Assange, who manage to trip on his own dick in a big way. Read More >>

Wikileaks Somehow Reached a New Level of Desperate

In a characteristically desperate move, the Wikileaks Task Force tweeted out that the organisation nobly devoted to making private documents public is looking to create “an online database with all ‘verified’ twitter accounts & their family/job/financial/housing relationships.” This feels desperate. Read More >>

Bored and Irrelevant, Julian Assange Plays Kitty Cat Dress-Up

After getting his internet privileges taken away by the Ecuadoran government in October, Wikileaks founder Julian Assange is evidently bored. Currently in exile and facing rape charges in Europe, without internet, Assange has found a better way to pass the time: playing dress-up with his kitty cat. Read More >>

Julian Assange Swears He Didn’t Want to Influence the Election

Wikileaks founder Julian Assange released a statement about the US election on on Tuesday, defending his organization’s decision to post thousands of emails from the Democratic National Party’s senior officials during the height of the US presidential election season. Read More >>

Obama May Unleash Cyberwar On Russia After Election: Report

On Sunday, the New York Times published a seemingly routine report about Obama’s cyber offensive strategy. Hiding halfway down the page, however, there are some fascinating details about the decision-making process behind a potential US cyber retaliation against Russia. Read More >>