wtf
Company Offers Free, Totally Not Creepy Microchip Implants to Employees

Is that an especially sickly hue in the smog clouds? A faint smell of ammonia in the air? Maybe this morning feels particularly dystopian because Wisconsin-based Three Two Market plans to become the first US company—and one of the first companies period—to offer microchip implants to its employees. Read More >>

wtf
‘It’s a Miracle’: Embalmer Says Salvador Dali’s Moustache ‘Still Intact’ After 28 Years in Grave

Decades after his death in 1989, painter Salvador Dalí is continuing to make art, or at the very least, something surreal. Last month, a Spanish judge ordered the artist’s body to be exhumed for a paternity suit filed by a television psychic. The fortune teller, Pilar Abel, claims she is Dalí’s daughter and has been fighting to get the artist’s DNA since at least 2007. Now that Dalí’s corpse has finally been exhumed, his embalmer is happy to report the artist’s signature moustache has remained perfectly coiffed. Read More >>

wtf
iPhone 4S Owner Sues Apple After ‘Defective’ Battery Allegedly Starts House Fire

A woman from Wisconsin and insurance company State Farm are suing Apple for $75,000, claiming the tech giant sold her a “defective” iPhone 4S that caused a fire in her home—not unlike Samsung’s Galaxy Note 7. Read More >>

wtf
A Melted Duck Has Driven Japanese Twitter Users Completely Bonkers

It’s hot in Japan. Hot enough to melt a dashboard rubber duck into a forlorn pool of gooey plastic. And hot enough to make thousands of people intent on proving or disproving the authenticity of a now-viral tweet. Read More >>

wtf
Russian Government Investigating Fidget Spinners, a ‘Political Technology’ That ‘Controls Children’

In the west, we sometimes endure news reports about some sort of War on Christmas, so don’t feel too smug. But in Russia, there’s currently an effort to paint fidget spinners as a devious plot by the opposition to “zombify” kids using “political technologies.” Read More >>

jobs
London Theatre Job Ad Offers To Pay Peanuts With Insulting Recruitment Post

A London theatre has attempted to recruit a new, underpaid staff member by insulting an entire generation of people.The Tea House Theater offered between £15,000 and £20,000 per year for an office administrator. The full-time position was posted with the most remarkable job advert of all time. Read More >>

wtf
Users Report Incredibly Scary OnePlus 5 911 Bug

Do not try this at home. Concerned OnePlus 5 users have been reporting online that they’re having difficulties making 911 calls. It’s unclear if all OnePlus 5 models suffer from the same troubling glitch, but at least three users have claimed to have the bug on their device. Read More >>

wtf
Watch a Woman Destroy £154,000 Worth of Art While Taking a Selfie

Taking selfies with art is an entire photographic subgenre unto itself. So, when an exhibition is touted as “series of wondrous, over-the-top sets for the perfect selfie,” why wouldn’t you pull out your camera and a snap a pic for the ‘gram? This is why. Read More >>

wtf
Man Stuck Inside ATM Rescued After Slipping Customers Creepy Notes

Under capitalism, money imprisons us all, but for one man in Corpus Christi, Texas, this arrangement transcended mere metaphor recently. On Wednesday afternoon, the contractor (whose name has not been released) was fixing a lock in a room connected to a Bank of America ATM when, suddenly, he trapped himself in. Having left his phone in the car, he was unable to call for help. So, with an impending Castaway situation at hand, the man had to get creative—or else. Read More >>

wtf
Man Discovers He’s Accidentally Reading Harry Potter Fan Fic Instead of Order of the Phoenix

Even though it’s been nearly 10 years since the last Harry Potter book was published, there are still people who’re discovering the story about The Boy Who Lived every single day. Take this fellow, for example, who was shocked to discover that he’d been mistakenly reading Potter fan fiction instead of J.K. Rowling. Read More >>

wtf
An Amazon Bot Is Making the Greatest Smartphone Cases 

In what’s either the best art project, the best business move, or both, someone has made what I assume is a bot that’s churning out thousands of unique iPhone cases for sale on Amazon. Pretty much all of them are masterpieces. Read More >>

wtf
Doctors: Yeah, Don’t Put Glitter in Your Vagina

With a few exceptions, it’s just generally a good rule of thumb not to put random stuff in your vagina. In the latest cautionary tale, a predatory company has been pushing a sold out product called “Passion Dust” that doctors warn you should definitely not put in your vagina. Read More >>

wtf
We Regret to Inform You That Fidget Spinners Are Now Exploding

After transitioning from an obscure curiosity to a ubiquitous annoyance in record time, fidget spinners finally completed the 21st century novelty toy cycle this month, becoming something that could potentially burn down your house. According to local news reports, at least two Bluetooth-enabled spinners have now burst into flames while charging, may god have mercy on us all. Read More >>

wtf
Spain is Digging Up Salvador Dalí’s Body Because the World Is a Surreal Nightmare

A Spanish judge just ordered the body of Salvador Dalí to be exhumed for a paternity test. The order comes as a result of a lawsuit filed by a woman named Pilar Abel, a tarot card reader who claims to be Dalí’s illegitimate daughter. In court, Abel claimed that her mother was working near the Dalí family’s vacation home in the 1950s and that the two “had a friendship that developed into clandestine love.” Now, Abel wants to be recognised as the surrealist’s rightful heir. Read More >>

wtf
These White Socks Cost £70

Socks. White socks. £70. Look, even if it was reasonable for socks to cost £70 per pair, which it most certainly isn't, it would absolutely never be acceptable for anyone to wear a £70 pair of socks. Read More >>